


See If I Care

by jstonedd



Category: Kill la Kill
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-03
Updated: 2014-10-31
Packaged: 2018-01-21 18:51:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 37,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1560497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jstonedd/pseuds/jstonedd
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ryuko being Ryuko runs into trouble head first when she just wants to finish her college degree in peace. College!AU, Ryuko la Satsuki, mentions of Ryunui, Ryunon friendship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Stop Looking Hot When I Hate You

**Author's Note:**

> College!AU because I'm in college right now and want to share the joys of being a child with a drinking permit
> 
> First KlK fic after months of silently being in the fandom and writing this felt like liberation from my older works. Sometimes writing in a completely different style is a therapy for writer's block.
> 
> Don't own anything.

"Let me take a drag."

"Fuck no, I don't want your drool on my filter."

"Then give me a cigarette."

"Buy your own fucking pack, you bloodsucking parasite."

Ryuko rolled her eyes and picked at the hole in her jeans just above her knee. "You talk a lot of shit for someone who looks like they're still in middle school."

"Just shut up," Nonon exhaled with a breath of smoke. "At least I don't have the brains of a middle schooler. You're just lucky you know how to toss a ball and live in a country that praises ball-tossing airheads like you, otherwise you'd never be able to set a foot here."

"Wow, so charming today," Ryuko drily said and glanced at the pink-haired girl at her side. "Did someone pee in your Tuba or what?"

She hadn't expected a reaction nor wanted to wait for one, so she pushed herself off the curb and stood up, wiping dirt off her ripped jeans. "Anyway, I'm heading back or they'll think we're fucking out here or something, and I really don't wanna deal with Nui tomorrow."

Nonon snorted, blowing smoke out of her nostrils. She dropped her cigarette and stomped it out with the front of her four inch high plateau shoes. "She's a fucking psycho."

Even when she stood up straight in her heels, she still didn't reach the same height as Ryuko, who wore her worn out white sneakers.

"Yeah, yeah," Ryuko dismissively said and put her hands into her jeans pockets, letting her shoulders slump. "You say that every time."

"Because she is," Nonon merely shrugged and brushed past the taller girl, slightly wobbling on her shoes in her tipsy state.

Ryuko blew her red-dyed strand of hair out of her face and followed Nonon with an eye-roll, trailing a safe distance behind her back to a house party hosted by some fancy co-ed fraternity.

"Bunch of snobs," she muttered under her breath when she entered through the front door that was adorned with three silver Greek letters above the peephole. The members of that organization were not Ryuko's usual crowd and their dislike for each other was mutual, she only got invited because their college's football team was always invited to every party by default. It wasn't a successful party unless as many popular students as possible attended. If it wasn't for that, Ryuko would hardly be missed for her charming presence.

"Yet somehow, you could fit right in," Nonon remarked with disgust on her face as they walked past a boy vomiting in a bucket that originally had been used for cooling drinks.

"Don't compare me to those," Ryuko said and side-stepped a girl, who was about to drunkenly trip into her. She crashed on the floor instead and didn't get up. "I worked my ass off to get in. All they had to do was not to die from overdose in drugs and graduate from high school."

"Fuck off," Nonon turned around to snarl into Ryuko's face, and despite the height advantage, the black-haired girl flinched back at the venom in her voice. "I'm tired of hearing you sprouting off crap when you feel like it. I get where you're coming from, but don't trash-talk us to make you feel better. There's nothing to gain."

Nonon made sure to underline her words by roughly shoving Ryuko away before disappearing into the kitchen, knowing that the mild physical violence would hardly bother the other girl, who was used to merciless shoves and brutal tackles on the field. Ryuko might not be the best thrower, but she sure knew how to take hits and no matter how badly battered and wounded, her injuries didn't impact her performance nor her enthusiasm, which had been often the key to their team's winning points.

Ryuko scratched her neck and blankly stared ahead. Maybe she shouldn't have said those things about the rich kids when she knew Nonon was one of them, but she had never been tactful to begin with. She was sure the Drum Major would get over it. She didn't even know why she cared.

They weren't really friends, only knowing each other from that one time the marching band and the football team had clashed on the field due to scheduling errors. Her football coach, Tsumugu Kinagase, had wanted to settle the discussion with Nonon in two arguments, but had underestimated the girl's stubbornness on that matter. Both practices ended up getting canceled that day.

Pissed off that she had waited four hours in vain for her practice since she only had one morning class that day, Ryuko confronted the Drum Major personally because that was how she dealt with things, being the kind of person who would say 'I want to talk to your boss'. Of course, she hadn't known Nonon back then and her fierce character, or otherwise she'd probably let it go. But once the argument had started, it had been too late for Ryuko to realize that she had had no chance of winning, and backing out had been no option due to her huge ego and pride.

Their fight had quickly become personal and at one point, they had ended up throwing made-up swear words around that hadn't even made sense half of the time and before both of them had seen it coming, they had had tears in their eyes from laughing so hard over their own stupidity.

"You're not so bad, Piglet," Ryuko had said with a mocking smirk, though her eyes had shown appreciation.

"Same for you, shithead," Nonon had countered with a faint smile on her lips. That had been the beginning of their weird, antagonistic friendship, if someone could call that.

Ever since that day, they'd sometimes meet at the same parties they attended and small-talk over a smoke or two, though it was more of an exchange of insults and spiteful remarks than actual small-talk. But somehow, they'd still find each other outside a party. It was their silent agreement that despite the crude nature of their conversations, it was somehow relaxing and enjoyable to argue with someone using every known expletive while knowing it wouldn't offend the other person because they were both emotionally stunted with a peculiar sense of humor.

"Matoi."

Ryuko startled at her name being called out.

A voice so deep and forceful could only belong to one person.

She sighed and turned around with a lazy mutter, "What's up, toad."

Ira Gamagori, the quarterback of the football team and a hulk of a man, towered over her with his mouth tightly drawn in a frowning expression. "Have you seen Jakuzure?"

Ryuko jerked her head towards the kitchen door and was about to ask where his mistress was, when her name was pronounced in a dry and demanding tone. "Matoi."

"Kiryuin," Ryuko sighed, coming face to face with the woman who practically ruled Honnouji University with an iron grip.

Kiryuin Satsuki was a name one couldn't speak out loud without either admiration or fear, sometimes both mixed together. Ryuko wasn't sure where the entitlement to Honnouji University's Princess came from, but the hierarchy had already been established since the first day she had enrolled in here. What she first found out about her was that she was always surrounded by at least one of her four loyal lackeys, one of them being Ira Gamagori, who was strangely obsessed with her in a platonic way. Though no one dared to say it, his other main profession besides playing football was serving as Satsuki's bodyguard.

"Satsuki?" Ira questioningly asked with one hand already on the door to the kitchen.

Without averting her steely gaze from Ryuko, Satsuki nodded, wordlessly telling him to go ahead without her. He glanced shortly at his fellow teammate in dismay before pressing his huge frame through the door.

"Didn't expect seeing you here, Gigabrows," Ryuko said with a smirk, her glinting eyes trailing up Satsuki's face to stare at probably the most prominent feature of hers. She had to admit, though she found them strange looking and overly large at first, she now had to concede a certain attractiveness to them. It went without saying that she'd rather get tackled by a team of beefy football players than ever confess it out loud.

"Gigabrows?" Satsuki merely repeated, furrowing aforementioned brows.

"Gigantic eyebrows, get it?" Ryuko chuckled to herself, amused over her own hilarity.

Satsuki narrowed her eyes at her, her expression hardening. "Very mature, Matoi, as expected from you. Refrain yourself from straining the bits of your brain that haven't been damaged in a football game yet."

"Wow, Gigabrows, didn't know you care," Ryuko pretended to wipe away a tear, "for you, I'll be extra careful. Speaking of football, are you gonna watch the next game?"

"Why?" She quirked a brow. "So I can watch you lose more of your brain cells? I strangely can't recall you ever winning points, but I see your helmet peeking out beneath a heap of men quite frequently."

Her superior tone was what annoyed Ryuko the most, actually, almost everything about Satsuki rubbed Ryuko the wrong way. She just wanted to take her down a peg or two, show her that she was in fact not invincible or anyone's boss.

"Someone's gotta take one for the team," Ryuko shrugged, absently scratching her side where one of her more recent bruises were tinging her skin with a dark purple. "How else do you think can Gamagori land a point if everyone's out for his ass."

"Hm," Satsuki hummed, noncommittal, like she wasn't ready to concede to Ryuko's efforts but at the same time, not ignorant enough to play them off as nothing. Ryuko was going to take this as a win because the perpetually frowning girl rarely had nice words to offer. Quite the opposite, she was always one step ahead with a condescending answer for everything.

"Satsuki!" a shrill voice happily shouted, and Ryuko groaned at the noise and rubbed at her ears.

"Jakuzure, act more decent around Satsuki, will you?" Ira disapprovingly said as he followed Nonon out of the kitchen with difficulty, his broad shoulders brushing each side of the frame.

Ryuko stepped aside, distancing herself from the scene and watched on in amusement as a tipsy Nonon draped herself over Satsuki, who didn't quite seem to know how to act around her affectionate friend. The situation didn't last longer than a few seconds with Ira pulling Nonon back and telling her to straighten up and get a grip on herself.

Chuckling to herself, Ryuko walked into the kitchen to pour herself a soda, purposely steering away from alcohol because she had practice tomorrow. Though she didn't care about a lot of things, football was not one of them since her scholarship rode on it. She couldn't afford to lose the one thing that had changed her life for the better. Not when she had worked so hard to earn her place on Honnouji University's mixed football team, one of the top teams nationwide whose games were even live broadcasted, even if only on certain channels.

"I am rather amazed that I haven't walked in on you vomiting."

With a long stretched sigh, Ryuko turned around and leaned against the counter, her drink nestled against her lips. She slowly sipped from it while peering over the brim of her glass at Satsuki, who remained standing by the door frame without the intention to get something to drink.

Something about this situation felt familiar to Ryuko, but she couldn't exactly pinpoint which part of it. Maybe the way Satsuki's scowl made her believe that she hadn't grown up with much love, or how the corners of her mouth were always turned downwards in a rather extreme degree.

"This is how we first met, isn't it?" Ryuko suddenly said, remembering why this scene felt like a deja vu. "I was minding my own damn business when you barged in like you owned the fucking place."

Satsuki's expression didn't change, she merely crossed her arms. "It's because it was my place."

"Yeah, yeah," Ryuko dismissively said, "I didn't know that back then. No one told me you were Nui's sister."

"Step-sister," Satsuki corrected, brushing her sleek black hair behind her shoulder in a swift and elegant motion. "Are you still seeing her?"

Groaning in displeasure, Ryuko set aside her glass and ran a hand through her messy hair. "I never dated her to begin with. And you should know, she's fucking crazy, what kind of relationship would that be?"

"You tell me." Satsuki shrugged. "After all, you're the one sleeping with her."

"I only fuck her when I'm angry." Seeing the pointed look she received, Ryuko decided to elaborate because leaving it at that made her sound like an asshole. "She'll only let me fuck her when I'm angry, she says normal sex is boring. You won't believe the things she does to annoy the fuck out of me just because she's horny."

"That sounds very unhealthy to me," Satsuki said with a hint of disgust on her face. "But then again, unhealthy is what would perfectly sum up your life, Matoi."

Ryuko grunted, somehow agreeing with Satsuki though she knew that she had just let the other girl get away with a dig at her lifestyle.

"Satsuki." Ira's huge head poked into the kitchen. He quickly assessed the situation and said, "I'll come back in a few minutes."

"No, it's fine," Satsuki shot a scanning look at Ryuko. "Matoi is providing no entertainment in her sober state."

Ryuko flipped her off. "Fuck you, too, Gigabrows."

Ira looked like he was about to tell Ryuko off, but Satsuki brushed past him out of the kitchen without looking back, so he shut his mouth and followed her.

"Bitch," Ryuko muttered under her breath, only annoyed that she hadn't gotten the last word.

When she had first set foot in Honnouji University and learned about its social structure, she had sworn to herself not to get messed up with the Student Council or with any of the weirdos running around outside her football team. She had had enough trouble of a lifetime and just wanted to graduate with a diploma while playing football, all preferably in a peaceful setting.

But trouble went and found her in the form of Harime Nui, who had quickly set her eyes on Ryuko during her first football game. Most of the student body just shuddered at the thought of the bossy Head Cheerleader, who seemed sweet and innocent from the outside with her preference for pink shrilly outfits, but could skillfully unravel someone's rational mind with her manipulating words and then take great pleasure in watching them fall apart before her crazed eyes. For someone who looked so fragile and small, she searched for extremes to satisfy her needs. And Ryuko seemed to able to fulfill them, but only when she was angry enough to play along in their loveless game of fighting and fucking.

Ryuko snorted. Of course she would end up getting sucked into trouble anyway, no matter how hard she tried to avoid them. If she had known what kind of problems would arise with fucking Nui, she wouldn't have touched her with a ten foot pole and five layers of fire-resistant gloves.

She decided to leave the party because there was no point in staying if she wasn't going to drink, and she knew no one here. At least, no one who could tolerate her presence.

Stepping over cups and bottles and an unconscious girl, she was halfway out the house when she turned around and went back to the girl lying on the floor. It was the same one who had almost crashed into her.

Ryuko sighed and poked at the girl's shoulder. "Yo, it's not safe to pass out here."

She hadn't really expected a reaction, so she went back to the kitchen and got some ice, then poured the ice cubes down the unconscious girl's neck. She woke up with a start and looked confused and dazed, and before Ryuko ask her if she was alright, her eyes widened and the football player jumped back just in time to avoid a fountain of stomach contents raining down on her white sneakers.

"At least you're awake now," Ryuko muttered and finally left the house party.

\---------------------------------------

TBC


	2. I Still Hate You But You're Still Hot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nonon and Ryuko are such good friends and Ryuko is such a smooth motherfucker.

The football practice was a gloomy affair and lacked the usual enthusiasm that served as their motivation and fuel for their desire to train hard. Tsumugu, who always demanded discipline and precision from his team, hardly raised his voice at Ryuko when she messed up catching the ball a couple of times.

Honnouji University's football team, the Eagles, was a rowdy bunch of tough girls and boys who all grew up with playing football as much as they did with broken bones and full on fist fights. Sprained ankles were mere paper cuts to them, no one ever shed a tear over something miniscule as this, and they had no qualms about letting everyone know of their superiority.

But today, they followed Tsumugu's training orders without protests and kept the word exchanges between them to a minimum. Even Ryuko didn't feel like punching one of her teammates for accidentally stomping on her foot during a test run.

The reason for the solemn mood was a message Ira Gamagori had relayed to them before the practice, from a fellow football player who had been in a near-fatal accident a month ago and still hadn't recovered.

Uzu Sanageyama, former running back, had announced quitting the football team because his injuries from a game were too severe and he would need half a year to fully recover from them. The season was over for him, his scholarship was on the line and he wasn't going to be able to pass one single class this semester because he needed to stay in his hospital bed for a couple more weeks, only able to come back when the exams were already over.

Half of the football players were in Honnouji on a scholarship due to their talents in that sport, no one could and wanted to imagine a scenario in which they could no longer depend on it. It would be the same as losing their existence. Uzu's miserable situation had affected them all, and their silence was their way of showing solidarity and respect. They were a tough bunch but not a heartless one.

Ryuko frowned. Though they had never really gotten along with their prideful personalities always clashing, she felt something akin to a sickening punch to the stomach at the thought of Uzu's fate.

On the night of that unlucky game where his football gear had failed to protect him and gotten him several broken rips and a squashed hand, Ryuko had experienced a searing degree of rage like never before, threatening to consume her. It had all added up; the way the opponents had showed no remorse over their foul, the way they had waved after the ambulance in which Uzu had been transported off with a gloating smirk, or their constant questioning of her competence on the field because of her gender.

By the end of the night, she had been ready to beat them all up and her teammates would have readily backed her up, but Nui had somehow managed to get a hold of Ryuko and pulled her away, all the while whispering promises of sexual gratification in her ear with an excited smirk.

Too aggravated to see clearly or to care about anything other than bashing someone's head in, Ryuko blindly followed Nui, knowing she would get to let out her wrath soon enough in a way that both of them would benefit from.

She had stumbled after Nui into an unknown apartment, assuming it was one of the wealthy girl's many apartments outside the campus, and not wasted time in ripping her clothes off her. There had been no room for tenderness or patience, they hadn't bothered with foreplay or even kissing, no, they weren't about exchanging heartfelt touches or loving caresses.

They didn't work like that.

All they wanted was to fuck and feel, physically. And only physically. Their passion was shallow and insubstantial but raw and mind-consuming nonetheless, and as sudden it could be ignited, as sudden could it be put out. Sometimes Nui would shove Ryuko away in the middle of them fucking because she felt her anger had faded, complaining about the lack of roughness in her touches while shrugging on her clothes and leaving Ryuko completely drained in sweat, frustrated in more ways than one.

But on that night where everything had gone wrong and her team had lost, Ryuko had had plenty of anger to spare. The clock had struck three in the morning when Nui had stopped Ryuko going in for another round by pushing her away with her hand in her face, telling her to get off herself and be quiet about it.

And the mood had been instantly gone. Pissed off, Ryuko had slid out of the bed with a grunt and quickly gathered her clothes, and by the time she had been out the bedroom door, Nui had already fallen asleep.

That night had been the same night she had met Satsuki. If she had only left the apartment without stopping by the kitchen for food and water or if she had only not wasted time looking around in the living room. If she hadn't done one thing of the two, Satsuki would have never barged in on her raiding the fridge in the kitchen.

Ryuko was so distracted by her memories that she had missed catching another throw at her. This time, her coach Tsumugu wasn't as forgiving as the last few times.

\--------------------------------------------------------------

"Don't get too close, you might catch something." Over a hundred pair of feet came to a stop. Only the sound of one pair of footsteps got louder as they closed in on the girl lying on the grass with sprawled out limbs.

Ryuko groaned at the familiar high-pitched voice and put her arm over her eyes. "Just let me lie here, I'm not in your way."

"You are always in my way, dipshit," and Ryuko felt the tip of a boot nudging at her shoulder pads. "At least crawl away."

Ryuko grunted and made no movement. "I can't feel my legs. Carry me, Piglet."

And the foot that had been nudging her kicked her in the sides. "Fuck!" Ryuko shouted, instantly sitting up and glaring at Nonon, who smirked down at her.

"Now get lost," the Drum Major said and made a shooing motion with her hands, "we've got to practice now."

"I don't see the fucking problem," Ryuko angrily said, wildly gesturing to herself and the field, "I'm on the sidelines, you've got the whole field to yourself."

Nonon bent down and flicked a finger against Ryuko's nose. "I just don't like seeing trash lying around when I want to practice with my marching band."

"Fuck you," Ryuko growled, then paused when a knowing smirk lit up her expression. "Oh, right, I almost did once because you wanted me to, but being the decent person I am, I didn't and instead looked after your tiny wasted ass the whole night."

Nonon let out an infuriated shriek and pushed Ryuko back onto the grass, smiling in satisfaction when her head hit the ground first with a thud. She straightened herself and stepped with one high-heeled boot on Ryuko's chest that was protected by her pads. "We don't talk about that night," she quietly threatened, and pressed down harder with her foot to elicit a pained groan from Ryuko, whose head was still spinning from its collision with the ground. "Don't you dare to interfere with my practice, shithead."

And she lifted her foot off the girl lying beneath her, walking away. "Seems like we can't get rid of that pest for now," she told her marching band, that had quietly watched their interaction. No one dared to say anything about it. "Let's get to work, our next performance isn't that far away."

They distanced themselves from the sideline and marched towards the center of the field.

Still wheezing, Ryuko raised one of her leg to test if she could move it again, but quickly let it drop when her muscles protested.

"Fuck," she hissed at the soreness in her thighs. This was her punishment for messing up today. Tsumugu had made her run until the end of practice and not in a jogging pace, but in a constant sprint and whenever he had caught her slowing down, he would order the football team to throw balls at her head. And unlike Ryuko, they usually hit their mark even if it was moving.

During the first thirty minutes she was lying there, she only heard Nonon bossing the marching band around and telling everyone their positions, move for move. They went over steps and formations, timing and cues. Ryuko quickly realized that Nonon was a perfectionist from just listening to her orders. But what surprised her even more was that the Drum Major was open for suggestions that could improve their routine.

By the time the marching band practice had ended, Ryuko had fallen asleep with her mouth wide open, a trail of drool dripping down her chin onto her football jersey.

"Is this person even real," an annoyed voice muttered above her. "Get up, you useless lesbian!"

And a kick to Ryuko's sides woke her up, causing her to sit up with a jolt and a loud, "Fuck!"

"What was that for?" Ryuko grumbled and wiped at her chin, looking around in confusion. The field was empty except for her and Nonon.

"Just wanted to remind you that the cheerleaders have evening practice today," Nonon said with a shrug, and turned to strut away.

"What?" Ryuko hissed in horror. "No, wait!" she desperately shouted, stretching out a helpless hand after Nonon, "don't leave me here, come on, I know you've got a heart beneath your flat chest!"

"Wow, and you still expect me to help you?" Nonon said over her shoulder without stopping.

"Yeah, 'cause I'd do the same even if you never call me anything besides 'shithead'."

And it made Nonon hesitate. "Fuck," she muttered to herself and closed her eyes with a sigh. "Alright, shithead, just this time." She turned back around and walked back to Ryuko, reaching out a hand at her with a reluctant grimace. "Only because I feel sorry for you when you can't run away from Harime."

Ryuko took the offered hand with a low grunt and tried pulling herself up, but her wobbly knees gave in and she crashed against Nonon, taking her down with her.

"Ow," Nonon hissed and turned her head because her face was being covered by sweaty black hair. "So fucking gross," she whined and pushed at the body on top of her. "Get the fuck off me, you're heavier than you look."

"Like I wanted to be on top of you, Jesus," Ryuko grunted and rolled off the shorter girl beneath her. "Let's try again, I'm prepared now."

Nonon stood up and brushed grass off her skirt, all the while cursing under her breath. "If you fall on top of me again, I will leave you here to die."

"I won't," Ryuko said, determined. She expectantly stretched out a hand, waiting for Nonon to take it.

The Drum Major looked torn about touching her hand again, but took it anyway and pulled again. This time, Ryuko focused on stabilizing her knees and transferred some of her body weight on Nonon's shoulders by putting her arm around it.

"How deep I've sunk," Nonon mumbled and put a hand around Ryuko's waist. "Hurry up, my nose is hurting from your disgusting stench."

"Yeah?" Ryuko weakly chuckled as she hobbled besides her, and pushed her hair into Nonon's face, "how about that?"

Nonon headbutted her away and made gagging noises. "I now know what hell smells like," she said through gritted teeth.

Grinning, Ryuko said in a completely unfazed voice, "No, hell is the smell of burned food you spent a lot of time preparing."

Surprisingly, Nonon hummed in agreement. Slowly, but steadily, they made their way back to the changing rooms without any more bickering.

"Okay, here's a deal," Ryuko sighed once she realized she couldn't walk home. "I'll be nice to you for a week if you give me a ride home."

Nonon snorted and let Ryuko down on a bench. "You've got to offer me more than that if you want me to let you inside my car. Besides, I'm going to dinner with Satsuki right afterward, and let me think – a stinking pig or the pretty Student Council President – such a tough choice."

After pulling off her dirty jersey, Ryuko unhooked the straps of her shoulder pads and pulled it over her head. "So what? Go to your date after giving me a ride home," she said once her protection gear was off.

"It's not a date," Nonon quickly said with a blush, "we were supposed to be five people, but the frog and the dog have assignments to do. And the monkey's still in hospital."

She received a blank stare for her explanation. "Sounds like a fucking zoo meeting," Ryuko muttered as she slipped into a white t-shirt, then shrugged on her varsity jacket. Its body was light blue, the leather sleeves were white and a bold yellow 'H' was stitched on the left side of her chest. "Anyway, it's not like I live so far away, it'll be only like five minutes without traffic. It'll be your good deed of the day."

"A real good deed would be running you over with my car," Nonon scoffed. "Where do you live, anyway? I don't want to drive around in a shabby neighborhood."

"One-Star-Dorms," Ryuko replied. "My grades weren't good enough to get me a scholarship for the Two-Star-Dorms."

"Hm." Nonon didn't utter her thoughts that Ryuko's current living situation still had to be a big step up from her former life. "Alright, it's on the way to the restaurant anyway. Get up, I don't want to let Satsuki wait just because you're being a needy little shit."

Once finished changing and packing, Ryuko found her legs slowly recovering and she didn't need to lean on Nonon for support anymore, hobbling behind her when she followed her out to the parking lot.

"Satsuki's already waiting," Nonon worriedly said, and sure enough, Ryuko saw a tall and lean figure standing upright by a white SUV, her long sleek hair gleaming in the soft glow of the sunset. Subconsciously, Ryuko ran a hand through her own messy hair.

Upon nearing the Student Council President, Ryuko could see the wrinkle between her impressive eyebrows deepening. "Matoi."

"'Sup," Ryuko grinned, loving every chance to throw Satsuki off course.

"I'm only dropping her off on our way to Hokkaido's Kitchen," Nonon nodded to Ryuko, who was still giving Satsuki a shit-eating grin, "and people say I'm not charitable. Anyway, don't touch anything inside my car, shithead."

"Does Kiryuin count?" Ryuko teasingly asked, receiving a raised eyebrow from mentioned subject.

Nonon huffed and smacked the back of her head. "Especially not Satsuki. Show some manners or I will throw you under my car."

Ryuko chuckled, but then choked on her spit when she realized what kind of car Nonon and Satsuki were getting in. Quickly opening the door to the backseats and getting in herself, she said in disbelief, "Are you kidding? Aren't you overcompensating for something?" She picked at the leather seat beneath her and curiously glanced at the cockpit, marveling at the four conjoined silver rings on the steering wheel.

"Either shut up or get out," Nonon glared at Ryuko through the rear-view mirror.

"What is this unpleasant smell?" Satsuki's nose crinkled.

"That's the smell of resolve and tenacity," Ryuko airily replied, putting on a serious expression, "pigs in clothing like you will not understand." And then she burst out laughing, being the only one to laugh over her own joke.

"Is she mocking me?" Satsuki asked Nonon, who bit on her lip from grinning at the bad impersonation of her friend. "She is mocking me."

Nonon shrugged with trembling shoulders and started her car, pulling out of the parking lot.

"Matoi, are you mocking me?" Satsuki looked up at the rear-view mirror, her narrowed eyes sharply glancing at Ryuko in the backseat.

Ryuko stretched out a tongue and put her arms behind her head. "Figure it out yourself, Gigabrows. Heard you've got a big brain in that hard skull of yours."

"Shut up, shithead," Nonon growled, but didn't take her eyes off the road. "Or I'll drive you halfway across town and throw you out so you can crawl back home."

Ryuko was about to snark back when Satsuki turned the music on and raised the volume, letting classical music fill the car.

"Thank you," Nonon said with a thankful smile at Satsuki, who only said, "I am merely tired of hearing the fox boast about climbing trees."

The soft tunes of a Beethoven suite were the only thing to be heard for a few seconds until Ryuko drily said, "And you still wonder why I'm mocking you."

Nonon let out an exasperated sigh, but Satsuki held up her hand as a sign that she didn't need her to scold Ryuko on her behalf. "Let the fox keep boasting. It will never reach the heights that only an eagle can achieve."

"Seriously?" Ryuko snorted. "You wanna keep this going?"

Satsuki merely shrugged with an indifferent glance at the rear-view mirror. "I will not stop simply because your brain capacities are at their limits."

"Kiryuin..." Ryuko growled, now annoyed that her intelligence had been once again questioned. She didn't know why Nonon or Satsuki were under the impression that she was a brainless jock only because she had gotten into Honouji with a football scholarship. Sure, she wasn't an honor roll student, but she still had an above average GPA or she wouldn't have gotten a scholarship at all. There were enough students who excelled at both academics and sports.

"Do you even know what I'm majoring in?" Ryuko suddenly spoke up, crossing her arms as she observed the reactions of Satsuki and Nonon. Both looked up in mild surprise, then glanced at each other with furrowing eyebrows.

"I honestly have no clue," Nonon admitted as she steered into another street. "You never mentioned it."

"Well, you never asked," Ryuko shrugged.

"Then enlighten us, Matoi," Satsuki said, somewhat impatiently. Ryuko grinned at the chance that she had been given to annoy the two in the front seats.

"No, you have to guess," she said and clicked with her tongue.

"Hm," Nonon mused, "there are no majors in Honnouji offered for underachievers."

Ryuko rolled her eyes and waited for Satsuki's guess. The older girl seemed to take her time to deliberate the options. "Perhaps in a science-oriented field?" she finally said.

"Not bad," Ryuko nodded. "How come?"

"You lack the sensitivity for literature and art," Satsuki said matter-of-factly. "The skin of your fingertips tells me that you frequently roughen it up with leather but there is not one cut from the page of a book."

Stunned, Ryuko stared down at her hands in her lap. Even Nonon shot Satsuki questioning side-glances, wondering how she knew what Ryuko's fingertips looked like.

"It's quite obvious," Satsuki explained, ignoring the disbelieving looks she received, "that is, if Matoi didn't hide the tip of her fingers inside her nostrils so much."

Sighing, Ryuko thought she should have seen that one coming.

The car stopped in a street full of apartment blocks, the buildings standing wall to wall with few kiosks and small shops in between. They were in the One-Star-Neighborhood on the outer circle of the Honnouji campus and the One-Star-Dorms were all modest apartments furnished with the basics. Two third of the Honnouji's students lived in One-Star-Dorms, the lowest standard in a hierarchy of three different comfort degrees.

Ryuko was content with her living situation, it was more than she had ever had. She didn't care that Satsuki or Nonon were living in their Three-Star-Villas and probably had lived like that their whole lives. She appreciated what she had now and didn't want to lose it, so she was going to keep working hard on maintaining her current standard.

"Thanks for the ride," Ryuko said with a grin and pretended to lift her non-existent hat, "I knew your heart isn't as flat as your chest."

"Don't make me fucking regret it," Nonon muttered.

Ryuko leaned forward until her mouth was next to Satsuki's ear, "See you around, Gigabrows."

Without waiting for a reaction, she pushed the door open and jumped out, immediately regretting her rash action. She had forgotten her sore legs and they instantly folded under her, causing her to land on the concrete with her behind. "Aw, fuck, those were my only clean pair of jeans," she growled.

The front car window slowly rolled down to reveal an amused looking Satsuki glancing down at her with no concern. "Aren't those the only pair of jeans in your possession?"

Ryuko stood up with wobbly knees and leaned on Nonon's car for support. She glared into the window frame.

"Now you know what your sister looks like after a good fuck with me," Ryuko spitefully said, hoping to elicit some kind of irritated reaction from Satsuki.

"Step-sister," Satsuki said without blinking, looking completely unfazed. "And if you mean pathetic, then yes, I can most definitely see that now." And the car window rolled back up, muting Ryuko's curses at her. With screeching tires, Nonon sped away, forcing Ryuko to stumble out of the way if she didn't want her feet getting squashed. She fell again and winced. Maybe pathetic was really the right word to describe her now.

She reached into her bag and pulled out an old flip-phone of which the black and white screen could be covered by two fingertips, and quick-dialed the only number she had saved in her phone.

"Mako," she groaned into the piece of technology that had gone out of production ten years ago, "come down and help me...I kind of got myself into a shitty situation again."


	3. Why Is This Happening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Insert Nui Harime's theme song

When Ryuko heard keys unlocking the door to her room, she just assumed that Mako was back from her grocery run and didn’t look up from her homework that was due tomorrow. She rubbed at her tired eyes and tried to focus on the lines in front of her, but they kept getting blurry and swimming out of her vision.

"My, my," a high-pitched voice behind her giggled, and Ryuko’s back stiffened, "I wonder how many people would believe me if I told them you were doing homework."

Ryuko closed her eyes and lowered her head, clenching her fingers around her pencil. Without turning around, she muttered, “What do you want? How did you get in?”

An overly sweet smell assaulted her nose, serving as the only warning she got before she felt cold hands slipping beneath her shirt and touching her tense abs. “It’s like you don’t know who I am.”

With an irritated growl, Ryuko grabbed the arms around her and pushed them away from herself. “It’s because I fucking don’t. All I know is that you’re wasting my time.”

She stood up and strode in big steps away from Nui Harime, clenching her teeth because her legs were still sore from the football practice yesterday. She was in no condition to leave her room to escape from Nui, she realized with a grimace. Feeling that her legs couldn’t support her anymore, she sat down on her bed before she could collapse and lose her dignity in front of Nui.

"Oh, I didn’t come for that," the blonde girl said with a giggle, but then paused as if she remembered something. With a twitch, her smiling mouth turned askew, and her wide eyes just added to the crazed and scary look. "It’s no fun if it isn’t rough. But maybe you like it soft. Some people told me interesting things they saw on the field yesterday, about you and that – what’s her face? The marching band’s pig mascot."

Ryuko groaned and let herself fall back onto her mattress, covering her closed eyes with her forearm. “Tell them they’re fucking wrong. I don’t even like her.”

She felt a presence looming over her, something dipping into the mattress beside her head. The sickening sweet smell was back. “You’ve never been a good liar, Ryuko.”

Lip-gloss covered lips glided over chapped ones, testing if there was any resistance. But Ryuko barely breathed, just laid still with her eyes tightly shut and every muscle of hers tense.

"This is no fun," Nui pouted and retreated, not hearing the relieved sigh Ryuko released.

Ryuko just prayed for Nui to quickly get bored with her and leave her alone, this was the fastest way to get rid of her. Starting a fight or even let herself get agitated by her was the wrong move and would only prolong Nui’s unwelcome stay.

"Anyway, I didn’t come here for nothing," Nui said in a dismissive tone. "I have something for you."

"Don’t want it," was Ryuko’s immediate response before she had even seen what she was supposed to receive, still lying on the bed with her arm over her eyes.

"It’s my birthday present," Nui continued, undeterred, "to myself. It’s something you will wear to my birthday party next Saturday."

And it made Ryuko slowly sit back up, blinking warily at the short girl, who smiled delightfully and pointed to a large white box to her feet. “Your birthday?” What an unfortunate day, Ryuko thought to herself. “What if I don’t wanna go or have plans?”

Still happily grinning, Nui tilted her head. “You must have heard me wrong because I never gave you an option where you don’t go.”

Ryuko was instantly struck with a wave of anger, making her painfully aware of her fast pounding heart. Her jaw became stiff from clenching her teeth. But she couldn’t lose control now, she couldn’t give in to the devil in the pink dress.

"If I’m going, I’ll wear what I’m wearing now," she quietly said, trying to keep herself calm.

"Eh?" Nui disapprovingly stared at her white t-shirt. "Don’t you own anything besides white V-necks?"

Ryuko shrugged. She used to own more colorful shirts but after wearing them for years, the colors had washed off and the fabric had gotten loose, becoming more prone to holes and snags. The t-shirt she was wearing now had come in a pack of five for only ten dollars, and it was the last intact one, the others were now being used as cleaning rags by Mako.

"It’s practical."

"It’s sad," Nui said, shaking her head. She sauntered over to Ryuko, slightly leaning down and grabbing a fistful of Ryuko’s t-shirt. She rubbed it beneath her fingers. "It feels so wrong."

Ryuko thought the same, but not about her clothes. She was facing away so Nui’s overwhelming scent didn’t fill her nose and numb her mind with its overpowering sweetness.

"It’s so annoying when people wear things that don’t suit them," Nui sighed, still not letting go of Ryuko’s shirt, "if you don’t want to take off this trash…then I will do it for you." And with a forceful pull, she ripped off the part of fabric she had held in her hands, tearing the front of Ryuko’s t-shirt in half with a maniacal cackle.

Speechless, Ryuko looked down on the scraps of fabric that used to be her last clean t-shirt, too shocked to give an immediate reaction. She slowly looked up to see Nui waving with the torn out bit, brightly smiling like she had done Ryuko a big favor.

"No bra?" Nui playfully said, and sniffed at the shred of fabric in her hand, "Hm, smells exactly like you. Maybe I’ll keep this. It’s so – Ryuko?"

In a blur, Ryuko had shot up from her bed and lunged at Nui, coming to a stop when their foreheads crashed.

"Ryu - Ryuko?"

The torn out scrap of Ryuko’s shirt fluttered to the ground, no longer in Nui’s hands. They were on Ryuko’s wrist instead, trying to push the hand away that had tightly grabbed her chin and forcibly tilted her head upward. Swallowing, Nui looked up into furious eyes that mercilessly and unblinkingly stared down at her. They were so close that their noses were brushing, and Nui’s shallow breaths grazed Ryuko’s mouth that was distorted in an angry snarl.

"Ryuko…"

"Hm?" Ryuko hummed, now a malicious smirk on her lips, "No witty retort?"

She was tempted to tear Nui’s head off the same way Nui had torn off the piece of fabric. She didn’t care if it was physically possible or not, she only wanted to use the irony and metaphor of this situation.

"Nothing to say?" she whispered. "You disappoint me, Nui."

Ryuko’s fingers dug deeper into tender flesh, eliciting a small whimper. Whether it was from arousal or pain, she couldn’t quite distinguish, maybe both. Nui hardly seemed to put any effort in struggling against her grip, it seemed more like she was holding her arm in place. Ryuko snorted. So shall it be then, she darkly thought.

The taller girl leaned in and captured Nui’s bottom lip with her teeth, biting down too hard for it to be pleasurable, yet the blonde girl quietly moaned. Roughly jerking Nui’s head closer to her, she slipped her tongue into an eagerly awaiting mouth. She wasn’t met with any form of resistance, there was no battle over dominance because in this round, Ryuko had gone in dominating from the start. She didn’t care about making it enjoyable for Nui, who only passively and submissively offered while Ryuko relentlessly took.

When the sound of Nui’s louder moans registered in her head, something stirred within Ryuko. Those sounds were making her mad, making her satisfied, making her confused – how could someone like such a rough treatment that others would already consider as abuse?

Suddenly feeling disgusted with herself, Ryuko broke off the one-sided kiss and roughly pushed Nui away. Her strength underestimated, the dazed girl stumbled several steps backwards and crashed against the wall with her head first, but she hardly blinked. Even if her thin stature suggested fragility, Nui Harime was as accustomed to injuries as Ryuko, and she was able to stand up right after falling off a cheerleader pyramid. She was tougher than some of the football team.

"Get out," Ryuko lowly said, wiping at her mouth. Kissing Nui always left a bittersweet aftertaste. It wasn’t actually there, she knew it was only something her brain had come up with, but what had been only a feeling in the beginning had become a literal taste. And now she couldn’t get rid of it, always thinking of the taste that made her never want to touch Nui again and yet at the same time, never want to let her completely go.

"But it was just getting interesting."

Nui’s smile stretched from ear to ear. Her eyes were gleaming. Ryuko realized that she had made a mistake by letting her anger control her actions, and now she had awoken Nui’s hunger for angry sex.

Ryuko brushed off the remains of her shredded t-shirt, feeling greedy eyes raking over her naked upper body. She had made a decision.

"Not today," she said with a shake of her head, "I’m not angry anymore. And I’m still sore from football practice."

Nui’s expression dropped and the desire in her eyes was gone. She looked put out for a few seconds until she regained her usual stance. “Well,” she said with a shrug, “it was fun while it lasted.” She smoothed out her dress and fixed her hair before she turned toward the door. “Don’t forget to wear my present to my birthday party.”

"I’m not going," Ryuko grunted.

Nui giggled and opened the door, standing halfway outside the room when she poked her head back in and said with a bright smile, “You really don’t know who I am. Maybe you should gather some information before you say no, because getting the keys to your room is as easy as taking yours and banning you from here.” She cheerfully waved. “Until then, Ryuko honey.”

She closed the door with a bang, and Ryuko numbly stared at the spot where her head had been. Her eyes trailed down to the large box on the floor.

Suspiciously walking toward it, she was reluctant about opening it at first, calculating the chances of it being a bomb. Her curiosity won and she opened the lid.

"Hm," she hummed. All she saw was white. She carefully reached into the box and slowly pulled out a piece of clothing. Upon unfolding, she quickly realized it was a white suit jacket. A pair of matching dress pants was inside the box along with a dress shirt, a tie and a pair of dress shoes, all in white.

Looking at the suit jacket from all perspectives, Ryuko had to admit that it was a fine piece of tailored clothing, and she found her name stitched in blue on the inside of the jacket.

She looked back into the box again and found a note stuck inside one shoe, handwritten by Nui in her cursive and squiggly style.

Every great masterpiece of mine has a name. This one is Junketsu. It means ‘Purity’. Because when I first saw you, it was the first thing that came to my mind. La vie c’est drole, isn’t it?

Ryuko read the note three more times, but didn’t gain more understanding. She crumpled it in her hand and threw it at a trash can across the room, missing it completely. Though she was no longer reading Nui’s words, she could still see them in front of her, burning a lasting imagine in her mind.

Purity. What did Nui mean with that? Ryuko sighed. “Probably just messing with me again.”

\--------------------------

For her birthday party, Nui had managed to ‘rent’ the football field. By now, Ryuko had a fair idea of who she was and how her family tree looked like. And it didn’t surprise her anymore how Nui had become head cheerleader in her first year or how she had gotten a hold on a key to her dorm. Using the University’s football field for her birthday party seemed like a little thing if the University was as good as owned by her family.

Ryuko looked around and had to admit that some thorough planning had been invested in all of this. A big stage on the center of the field had been set up along with huge speakers and lights, both already in usage by a DJ and a lighting assistant. On both sides of the stage were rows of decorated tables bursting full with food and drinks, and that was where Ryuko intended to stay nearby.

She had honestly planned not to go to at first, not sparing a second thought on Nui’s threatening words, thinking they had been an exaggeration to increase the weight of her wish with some drama. She hadn’t thought that it would be possible for Nui to have her thrown out of Honnouji simply because she had some connections. But just to be sure, Ryuko had later asked Mako about Nui, and her friend had sat her down and explained to her in a rambling speech that ‘no matter what, never ever get on Nui’s bad side’. Ryuko had silently wondered if there was even a good side to her.

In short, Nui’s merged family owned a big clothing company – one of the biggest worldwide actually, called Revocs – plus other subcontractors, and a large amount of Honnouji’s budget was funded by their generous donations. These circumstances made Nui and Satsuki untouchable, while Ryuko found herself suddenly becoming vulnerable. She couldn’t afford to be thrown out, everything she worked hard for would be for nothing, and she would fall back into the miserable life she had before.

So Ryuko didn’t really have a choice like Nui had said. She had accepted that the head cheerleader’s birthday party was an event she had to attend if she didn’t want to risk her academic career.

As requested, Ryuko had dressed up in the clothes Nui had tailored for her. At first she hadn’t really believed that Nui Harime was capable of tailoring a suit, let alone spend the enormous time to tailor one for her. But it fit her like a second skin and she admitted with reluctance that she looked quite good in it. Her whole stance had shifted, she found herself standing straighter and pushing her shoulders back instead of letting them slump down. And when she walked, she stuck out her chin and chest, unknowingly portraying the same sort of arrogance that Nui carried around.

No one dared to approach her or even make eye-contact. She looked intimidating in those new fine clothes, everyone who regularly saw her was used to her daily ensemble of a white t-shirt beneath her varsity jacket. Depending on the weather, the varsity jacket was optional. She never wore less than a white t-shirt no matter how hot, and she never wore more than her varsity jacket no matter how cold. On especially gruesome days, she would wear a scarf, but that was the maximum of clothing Ryuko bothered to put on. And yet, she hadn’t gotten sick once.

Ryuko let her fingers glide over the smooth surface of her white tie, enjoying the feel of fine silk beneath her rough fingertips. Looking down on herself, she grinned in satisfaction. “Fine as fuck.”

She liked the way the suit jacket accentuated her thin waist to broad shoulders ratio, and she honestly felt powerful in it. She wondered if that was how Satsuki felt whenever she strutted around campus wearing her designer blazers. Clothes make the man, Ryuko begrudgingly thought. Such a useful tool to change appearances and characteristics, and quite effective, too. The rough football player suddenly felt a sense of sophistication and self-importance like never before, and she found herself sipping on a glass of champagne in a way that she had used to laugh at others for, using only three fingers to hold the stem.

"Do my eyes deceive me?"

She even reacted differently. Under normal circumstances, Ryuko would’ve snapped back without seeing first whom she was talking to. But now, she calmly continued to sip on her champagne, undeterred.

"Matoi."

Ryuko chuckled into her glass. She figured that at some point during the party, they would meet again. “Lady Satsuki,” she mockingly muttered, and took another sip.

"This is very disconcerting, Matoi. Did Nui put you up to this?"

And the Student Council President stepped in front of her, her eyebrows drawn together in a judging frown.

Ryuko sneered at her, absently stroking the lapel of her suit jacket. “Your sister has a better taste in clothes than in women,” she self-deprecatingly said with a lopsided smirk.

Satsuki’s expression hardened. “Matoi, why do you insist on using the wrong terminology that describes my relation to Harime?”

"Step-sister, half-sister, twin sister," Ryuko counted down with an eye roll, "still just a sister in the end. Make it short, this world is being flooded by information and everything that takes more than six seconds to tell is not worth listening to."

"Matoi…"

And for the first time since Ryuko had met Satsuki, the older girl seemed to be stunned speechless. But not in an awe-struck kind of way where eyes and mouth were wide open, but in a way so typical Satsuki. Hardly a difference from her usual stony mask, but it was the lost look in her eyes that revealed her. She didn’t know what to think of Ryuko’s explanation.

And Ryuko was surprised by herself for the words she had uttered. A string of sentences with not one expletive.

"My, my," a voice giggled behind them and they simultaneously turned around.

Nui bounced on her feet, delighted at seeing them. Beaming, she brightly said, “I see you’ve already met each other, how great! It’s like you knew that I wanted to introduce you to Satsuki today, Ryuko.”

"You did?" both Satsuki and Ryuko said at the same, the latter one warily.

"Yes, yes," Nui nodded with a big grin. "Look Satsuki, doesn’t Ryuko look amazing in the clothes I made for her?"

Without glancing at Ryuko, Satsuki drily replied, “I suppose.”

Leaning into Ryuko’s side and absently playing with her tie, Nui dreamily said, “It’s like a wedding suit. I used many wedding magazines as a reference. It was a good exercise for once I become the Grand Couturier of Revocs.”

"Nui," Satsuki quietly said. Ryuko gazed up in interest at the warning undertone. Did Nui just touch a sore subject, their family heirloom? Did Satsuki feel threatened by Nui, wanting to take over by herself?

"Hm?" Nui hummed innocently, looking up with round, shining eyes. Ryuko couldn’t understand the contrast that was Nui Harime, always giving off a vibe of innocence and purity while she was anything but those two characteristics. To Ryuko, Nui’s sweet perfume smelled foul and gut-wrenching, causing even her insensitive nose to wrinkle in discomfort. "What is it, Satsuki?"

"I hope you haven’t neglected your education for your hobby," Satsuki remarked tonelessly, her unimpressed eyes sweeping over Ryuko’s clad form.

"Hobby?"

And Ryuko immediately knew that Satsuki had said the wrong thing.

The corners of Nui’s mouth twitched, curving up into a twisted smile, and her cold unblinking eyes stared right into Satsuki’s guarded ones. “You should be careful when you’re talking about other people’s passion, dear sister. If you insult their passion, you insult their existence. Do you want to insult my existence?”

Wanting to be no part of this, Ryuko tried to subtly step away, but Nui pulled her back by her tie and held her like on a leash. “See this masterpiece?” Nui whispered, brushing her other hand over Ryuko’s suit. “See the way Ryuko adjusted to this outfit, see the way she stands straight and tall in it? This is the power of fitted clothing, and I want to dress people in better clothes all over the world. And I will do that as the Grand Couturier of Revocs.”

Nui let go of Ryuko’s tie and her innocent smile returned. “Laugh at me all you want, Satsuki, but you never understood what true passion means, living in that caged mind of yours.”

Flicking her blonde hair over her shoulder, she turned on her heels and strutted away, letting herself be swallowed by the growing crowd on the football field.

"Damn," Ryuko muttered, turning to look at Satsuki’s face. As expected, the older girl didn’t show any reaction, having the same indifferent expression as ever. Ryuko wondered if it applied to Satsuki’s mind as well, was she truly unaffected by Nui’s words or was she just putting up a facade to protect herself?

"Has she always been this intense about sewing?" Ryuko asked to get Satsuki talking again. The silence made her uncomfortable.

"Perhaps," Satsuki crossed her arms. "I don’t know her long enough to determine whether this is a recent development."

"Then again, she’s this intense about everything," Ryuko said with a humorless chuckle. She realized that she was still holding a half-full champagne glass in her hand and decided that she actually didn’t like the pretentious taste of it. She couldn’t even remember why she had wanted to drink it in the first place, maybe it was curiosity because she had never drunk something so expensive before. Now she wanted to switch it for a cool beer.

"Want a beer?" Ryuko found herself asking Satsuki without thinking, looking as surprised as the addressed girl.

Satsuki subtly tilted her head questioningly. “Why would I feel the desire to stay here now that I’ve fulfilled my duty and have made an appearance?”

"Good question," Ryuko subconsciously ran a hand through her hair, "the argument that the food and alcohol is free here probably doesn’t work on you. I don’t know, it’s just – whenever Nui pisses me off, a cool beer normally brings me down."

"I am not upset," Satsuki said. "Words of a liar can’t hurt me."

"Maybe," Ryuko shrugged, loosening the knot of her tie with a finger, "Nui’s a lot of things, but she doesn’t lie. About anything. It’s what makes her fucking scary."

Ryuko saw Satsuki working her tense jaw, betraying the calm look on her face.

"Just one beer." Ryuko wondered why she was trying to persuade Satsuki of staying. Last time she checked, every bit of Satsuki’s being had annoyed her to the point of aggravation. "Now that I don’t look homeless like you always say I am, you’ve got no reason not to be seen with me."

For a moment, Ryuko thought to have seen a flash of amusement crossing Satsuki’s face. “Matoi, do you think so lowly of me that I wouldn’t associate with some people simply because of appearance?”

Ryuko rolled her eyes. “Apparently, I do, or I wouldn’t have fucking said that.” She unbuttoned the first button of her dress shirt to breathe more freely. Though her collar wasn’t itchy or tight, she didn’t like feeling her throat being completely wrapped around by fabric.

"Then you should know that you are wrong," Satsuki said. "In this moment, I must honestly say I would prefer you in your usual attire."

"Wow," Ryuko breathed out with a short laugh. "Not a fan of Nui’s work, are you?"

Satsuki suddenly stepped in front of her, grabbing Ryuko’s tie and forcing her to look up into her eyes. “You are a fool, Matoi,” she quietly said, their faces so close that her breath was ghosting over Ryuko’s half-open mouth, “she didn’t create it for you to wear it. You are the one being worn by it. This is merely her way of marking her possession.” Her hand slid down to rest at the lapel, and Ryuko sucked in a breath at the unexpected touch that seemed to burn through her clothes.

A knowing smirk graced Satsuki’s feature as if she knew what her closeness was doing to Ryuko. “If you could only look at yourself now - just a pig in human clothing.”

Before Ryuko could react, she had been pushed away and she stumbled a few steps backward until she found her footing. Once she looked up again, Satsuki was gone.

Letting out a frustrated grunt, Ryuko ripped off her tie with a trembling hand. This was the reason why she didn’t like her throat being wrapped around by clothing, it made her feel like wearing a dog collar, and she hated everyone who thought they had a leash on her.

"Fucking Kiryuin…and her fucking eyebrows."


	4. I Guess I Do Care

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fear forces us to be honest with what we truly care about and want, thus, in a sense, liberates us. I don't know if I made any sense because it's three in the morning and I just want to get this chapter out

"Ryuko?"

"Hm?"

Lying on her bed with her laptop propped on her stomach, Ryuko stared at the screen with glassy eyes, completely focused on the show she was watching online.

"Don't you have assignments to finish?"

"Don't I always?" Ryuko muttered absently.

Mako crossed her arms. "And aren't your exams coming up in two weeks?"

"Around that time, yeah."

"Do you even care anymore? It's like your first semester here!"

Ryuko's glassy eyes blinked once in Mako's direction. "I adapt quickly." She turned back to her laptop screen. "When's dinner?"

"Ryuko!" Mako exclaimed in frustration, stomping over to Ryuko's bed to rip her laptop away from her.

"Hey!" Ryuko shouted in protest, reaching after her most valuable possession, but Mako had slammed it shut and stuffed it beneath her shirt.

"You think that's gonna stop me?" Ryuko said, but then faltered, her hands stopping right before the hem of Mako's shirt.

"I actually do," Mako said with a cheeky smile and turned away. "You always act like you were raised in a jungle, but you are more of a sensible human being than most of the people here. You wouldn't do anything to me that I don't want."

Ryuko let herself fall back on her bed with a noncommittal grunt.

"Ryuko..." Mako's cheery smile faded and she pulled out the laptop from her shirt, placing it on a desk. "I actually want to talk to you about something else."

Instantly alarmed by the serious tone in her friend's voice, Ryuko propped herself up in her bed and worriedly looked at Mako. "Mako?"

Her roommate sat down on her bed and grabbed Ryuko's hands, her big round eyes piercing into Ryuko's startled ones. "You need to break up with Nui!"

"What?" Ryuko tried pulling her hands out of Mako's grasp, but the brunette didn't let go. "We're not dating, there's nothing to break up."

"You don't get it," Mako vehemently shook her head, "you need to end whatever relationship you have! Nui is not...she's not – she's evil, she's a cruel person and she will hurt you and everyone around you-"

"Whoa, slow down," Ryuko said, but Mako refused to be stopped.

"No, Ryuko, listen to me!" she exclaimed in frustration, tightening her grasp on Ryuko's hands to the point where even the tough football player winced in pain. "I – I met Kaori today, do you remember Kaori? The girl from the swimming team you took out on a date two weeks ago?"

Confused by the sudden change in topic, Ryuko helplessly opened and closed her mouth, and tried remembering but Mako suddenly let go of her hands, grabbed her shoulders instead and started shaking her.

"Please tell me you remember her," Mako begged, "remember her beautiful face!"

"Mako..."

"Remember it," Mako whispered, almost sounding defeated.

Speechless and overwhelmed with her friend's strange behavior, Ryuko couldn't do anything but let Mako express her sorrow by digging her fingers into Ryuko's shoulders. She could remember Kaori now, a sweet and athletic girl she had met through Mako, who shared the same classes with her. What had happened to her to get Mako so upset?

"Today, when I met her again..." Mako lowly said, her voice trembling, "her beautiful face was almost unrecognizable. It looked like it was burnt."

And Ryuko inhaled sharply, her heart suddenly filled with the same intensity of shock and sadness that drove Mako to tears.

"The pool of the swimming team has been contaminated," Mako said with a sob, "with a mix of chemicals...everyone who swam in it got some kind of rash all over their body, their skin looks like they've been burnt! Oh Ryuko, it's so terrible, Kaori was so ashamed of her swollen face that she cried when I tried to talk to her..."

Ryuko froze, suddenly feeling numb with shock and realization. "No," she croaked out, "you don't believe that Nui...?"

"Yes," Mako nodded and wiped away a tear. "Kaori didn't want to tell me, said that she was forbidden to, because it would ruin Honnouji's reputation. Ryuko, I bet everything I own that Nui was behind this, she knows which strings to pull to get the right people to shut up and cover for her. Do you understand now why you need to get far away from her?"

Everything felt like a bad dream to Ryuko. She would be woken up by Mako soon, and she would get scolded for falling asleep on her assignment that was due tomorrow. Everything was going to end once she returned back to reality, she would soon find out that none of this had happened.

But Ryuko didn't wake up, the pain she felt in her shoulders from Mako's forceful grasp was real and it refused to let her slip into a trance of denial.

"Ryuko," Mako shook her friend's motionless body again. "What if Kaori isn't the only one? What if there are other girls who suffered because you were careless?"

"Can't be," Ryuko breathed, "I didn't -"

She suddenly jumped off her bed and snatched up her varsity jacket hanging over her chair, shrugging it on in one smooth motion. "Don't wait for me, I don't know how long I'll be out."

"Ryuko?" Mako stood up as well. "Ryuko! Where are you going?"

But Ryuko had already disappeared, the door falling close behind her with a loud bang.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Though it had been years since the last time Ryuko had picked a lock, her fingers still worked as swiftly as if they had never been out of practice. Cowering by the key hole, it only took her seconds to unlock the door and push it open.

Straightening up and tucking away her bobby pins, she entered the marching band's storage room and quietly shut the door behind her. After sweeping her surroundings with a quick glance, she could tell that this room had a touch of Nonon's OCD tendencies. Every instrument and furniture was placed symmetrical in the room, with each of the items having the same distance to each other.

"What does she play again," Ryuko muttered to herself, strolling between the rows of instruments. "If she didn't show off with how many instruments she could play, maybe I would have listened."

She only remembered Nonon mentioning the tuba once, but she had never taken her seriously. She wasn't even sure if Nonon could hold a tuba without falling over.

Ryuko closed her eyes and muttered to herself, "C'mon, what's her main instrument..."

"It's a flute, you dipshit."

Whirling around, Ryuko almost stumbled into a drum set behind her when she saw Nonon standing by the door with her hands on her hips.

"What are you doing in here?" Nonon suspiciously asked. "Planning to steal an instrument so you can sell it?"

"What? No!" Ryuko wondered why she even cared about that irritating girl. "Tell me where your flute is."

Nonon didn't move from her spot, still glowering at Ryuko with a distrustful look. "Why?"

"So I can shove it up your ass," Ryuko said with an eye roll, "just tell me where it is."

"I still don't know why I should listen to you," Nonon crossed her arms.

Letting out an irritated growl, Ryuko turned her back on Nonon and headed to a corner where a few smaller instrument cases were stacked. She put each one on the ground, all were plain black cases except for one that was decorated with golden stars symmetrically spread over the surface. Humming in amusement over Nonon's predictable need to stand out, Ryuko didn't hesitate to open the instrument case, and she took out the mouthpiece of the disassembled flute, holding it up in the light to observe it.

"What are you doing?" Nonon screeched behind her, approaching Ryuko from behind with angry stomps. "Get your dirty fingers off it, that's more worth than all your possessions together, you stupid -"

Nonon's rant stopped when Ryuko held the mouthpiece right in front of her eyes.

"Do you see that?" she quietly asked, turning the mouthpiece to get different angles. "It's shiny around the mouth part. Like it's been smeared with something."

Taking a step back, Nonon grabbed the mouthpiece and held it up, inspecting it with narrowed eyes.

"Can't be," she muttered with a frown. "I always clean the mouthpiece after I've used it."

Ryuko gave her an empty smile. "I'm not saying that you forgot to clean it."

"So..." Nonon looked up at Ryuko, eyes widening with realization, "are you saying that someone smeared something on it? A stupid prank?"

"I wish, then there would be at least something to laugh about," Ryuko muttered, closing her eyes and massaging her temples, trying to get rid of the guilt and worry welling up in her chest. It had never crossed her mind that Nui would go so far to seriously harm people because of her own twisted reasons, and now Ryuko had become responsible for the damage caused. The most she could do now was make sure that nothing happened Nonon, then she would need time to think about her next actions. She had to apologize to Kaori, that was certain, but she had to be careful about it or it would only result into another disaster for the innocent girl.

Ryuko wanted to punch herself in the face for the miserable situations she was always getting herself into.

"What do you mean, you wish? Start explaining right now!" Nonon impatiently said, waving with the mouthpiece in front of Ryuko's face.

"Smearing something poisonous on it is hardly a prank anymore," Ryuko grimly said, watching Nonon's annoyed expression falling apart, her features slackening.

"P – poisonous?"

Nonon's hand that was holding the mouthpiece started shaking, and she almost let it glide through her slack fingers when Ryuko stabilized her hand with a firm grip.

"Don't lose your shit," Ryuko quietly said, trying to calm the shorter girl down by keeping her voice low, "that's not like you."

"Shut up," Nonon hissed, but the tremor in her voice gave her away, "someone's trying to poison me and you knew it, you're fucking involved, so tell me what else do you know?"

"Calm down," Ryuko urgently whispered, but Nonon struggled against her grip, so she let her go. "I'm just trying to help!"

"Why is this happening to me?" Nonon screamed, wildly gesturing with the mouthpiece in her hand, "Why would someone do that to me? Tell me everything you know, now!"

Feeling her own patience dwindling, Ryuko held her head with both of her hands, trying to block Nonon's shrilly voice out. "It was Nui," she said through gritted teeth.

And Nonon fell silent. Ryuko didn't have to look to imagine the shock and fear on her face. The head cheerleader was untouchable. Drum Major or not, Nonon was powerless against Nui and her network inside the Honnouji Committee.

"It's your fault," Nonon started out whispering, but then her voice raised with every word, "it's your fucking fault that I got pulled into this. Just because you can't keep it in your pants, goddamn it, I told you over and over again – she's a fucking psycho but you keep screwing her! Now I'm in this fucking mess, are you happy now?"

Motionlessly standing there, Ryuko didn't flinch when Nonon started hammering on her shoulder, taking her anger out on her.

"Are you fucking happy now?" Nonon hissed while pounding her fists on Ryuko's hanging shoulders. "Getting rid of me is what you wanted all along, isn't it? So I won't take away precious practice time on the field -"

"Nonon."

The hits stopped. Startled, Ryuko and Nonon turned toward the intruder.

Standing by the door, Satsuki calmly looked on the scene she had walked in on. "We were starting to worry, Nonon. Have you found your phone?"

After throwing a glare at Ryuko, Nonon gave Satsuki an apologetic smile and said in a much calmer voice, "I'm sorry for making you wait. Unfortunately, I came across this piece of trash and had to sort it out."

Ryuko pulled her varsity jacket straight and rubbed her beaten shoulder. She knew she was at fault and she already felt bad for it, but it still stung when Nonon put all the blame on her. "Whatever. I saved your fucking life and this is how you thank me."

"My life wouldn't be in danger in the first place if it wasn't for the existence of your useless ass," Nonon hissed out of the corner of her mouth, clearly not wanting Satsuki to know about what had happened. She shoved the mouthpiece back into Ryuko's hands. "Do whatever you want with it, I'm buying a new one. I don't care anymore. I can't even look at you right now."

She angrily marched out of the room, leaving Ryuko to stare at the mouthpiece in her hand.

"You really are a fool, Matoi."

And something inside of Ryuko snapped. Flashing before her eyes, she saw Kaori's beautiful and smiling face melting, becoming one big unrecognizable blotch of red, with only her tortured eyes standing out, staring at Ryuko like they were screaming 'Look what you did to me!'

With a frustrated yell, she launched the mouthpiece against a wall and watched it shatter, feeling as hollow as the dent her thrown object had left. Turning back to the door, she saw that Satsuki had watched her short outburst with no change in expression.

"Why are you still here?" Ryuko panted, breathless from the rage threatening to consume her. She hated feeling helpless and cornered, she just wanted all of this to stop and to grant her some peace. Being watched by the only person who could get under skin made it even more humiliating. "Aren't your friends waiting?"

"They will understand," Satsuki calmly said. "Unlike you, they are capable of rational thinking."

"I don't need your shit right now," Ryuko angrily said. She wanted to leave this place but Satsuki was still blocking the door. Reluctant of getting anywhere near her, Ryuko looked around to see if there were windows to climb out of.

"There is no need for that," Satsuki said like she had caught on to Ryuko's thoughts. "I will leave as well, seeing that your tantrum is over now."

And it made Ryuko want to start a new one all over again. She could feel her heart constricting within her chest, about to burst from all the pent up frustration and anger. "Kiryuin..." she growled, but forced herself to refrain from shouting. Instead, her voice became hoarse and quiet. "Doesn't this freak you out at all?"

Satsuki, who had already turned around halfway, faced back with surprise softening her expression.

Ryuko clenched her fists. "Doesn't it bother you, knowing that Nui can get away with everything she does? Aren't you going to stop her?"

"And how do you propose to proceed?"

Satsuki's voice was neutral as always, but lacked the cold undertone this time. She had sensed the seriousness in Ryuko's tone and decided to answer accordingly. "I cannot control her, much less expect her to listen to me. Seeking her company was a risk you willingly took and now you have to face the consequences."

It felt like a blow to her stomach. Ryuko knew that Satsuki was only telling her the truth without wanting to sound condescending, but to hear that even Satsuki could do nothing about Nui was disheartening and she felt more helpless than ever. She would have been ready to ask her for help, forgetting pride and all, but not even that option was available. Ryuko grit her teeth, shutting her eyes in frustration.

"So that's it, then?" Ryuko lowly asked. "You'll just watch like everyone else when Nonon drops dead during the marching band's performance."

Of all the responses she could have expected, she didn't expect for Satsuki to quietly chuckle. Opening her eyes again, she saw the other girl looking somewhat amused.

"Don't tell me you suddenly care for her?" Satsuki's lips hinted at a smirk.

Ryuko realized she had called the Drum Major by her first name for the first time, and got annoyed again that Satsuki had chosen to focus on this instead of the bigger issue. "I care enough to not want her to die on my account."

"Doesn't that apply for anyone?"

Ryuko smiled without it reaching her eyes. "Exactly."

Satsuki subtly shook her head and took a step back. "You are a bad liar, Matoi." Turning around, she said over her shoulder, "Whatever scenario you are fearing of, I will not allow it to happen. Be assured that I can protect my friends."

Ryuko watched Satsuki strutting off, her long black hair billowing behind her impressively like a cape.

She slapped herself and muttered, "The hell I'm thinking?"

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After searching and asking around for Kaori the whole afternoon, Ryuko found out from Kaori's friends that she had taken a week off to drive to the next big hospital and get a treatment for her severe rash. All the affected swimming team members had followed her.

Ryuko felt both relieved and guilty. Relieved, because she could postpone the necessary apology, and guilty, because she was the reason for Kaori's absence.

"Why," Ryuko mumbled to herself, gritting her teeth in frustration, "why would you do that, Nui?"

She had tried endlessly to understand and see things from Nui's perspective, but no matter how she twisted and turned her thoughts, she couldn't find a single reason good enough to justify the things she did. She had come to the conclusion that there was no justification, that nothing could ever come close to explaining or even excusing her behavior.

It was no use mulling over Nui's reasons, the only thing that mattered was putting a stop to this and it had to be Ryuko. But she had trouble figuring out a solution where she could end things neatly with the cheerleader, she had a feeling that breaking up their unofficial relationship would make matters worse. Fully committing to her in order to prevent more harm from happening to others was not an option either, Ryuko knew she wasn't selfless enough to endure this scenario of hell.

"C'mon," she breathed, massaging her temples and forcing herself to think further. There had to be a way, there had to be something that would make Nui be the one wanting to break up with Ryuko.

As she kept repeatedly pressing a finger to her temple, she absently noticed a couple walking by, watching them giving each other loving looks and tender kisses between playful banter.

And Ryuko suddenly knew how to get rid of Nui.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Satsuki?"

"Yes?"

Standing by the window, Nonon was staring out of it with a confused expression as she motioned for Satsuki to see the unbelievable sight for herself. "Tell me that I don't need glasses."

Placing aside her textbook with a silent sigh, Satsuki stood up and walked to the window where Nonon was standing. The shorter girl had her face almost pressed against the glass when she mumbled, "What is she doing here..."

Peering out the window as well, it took Satsuki a few seconds to distinguish the odd detail in the idyllic sight that was the Three-Star-Neighborhood. Besides the other few villas around, they were only surrounded by green, and in the middle of their large driveway stood a tall water fountain, spraying water meters high.

But walking up the driveway between a row of sports cars was a figure that none of them had expected to ever see in this neighborhood.

"Matoi..."

Ryuko Matoi, the rough football player who had managed to escape her past as a delinquent and earned herself a scholarship to the One-Star-Dorms in Honnouji, looked determined as she headed for one of the villas. If someone asked what she usually looked like, everyone would reply with varsity jacket over a plain white t-shirt, a pair of ripped jeans and messy black hair with a bright red strand. But no one had ever seen her straighten her hair and tie it up in a ponytail, or seen her wear a neatly ironed button-up shirt and an elegant pair of beige-colored pants like today. What was even more baffling was the bouquet of red roses she held in her hands.

"What is she up to?" Nonon mumbled to herself, tempted to open the window and shout at Ryuko, but she didn't want her to know that she had been watching her. Adding to that, she was still angry at her about becoming one of Nui's targets just because she had been nice to her once. She knew she would regret helping Ryuko getting home.

Satsuki just silently watched with her arms crossed, her observant eyes trailing Ryuko's figure until she disappeared because the window only offered the sight of the driveway and the water fountain, but not of its neighboring villas.

Slowly pushing herself off the window, Nonon turned to Satsuki with a disbelieving frown. "Did I just see that underachiever bringing roses for Harime? For the madwoman who tried to kill me? I knew they were in this together, I knew she was just a useless -"

"Nonon," Satsuki cut her off in a firm yet gentle voice. It was her tone that silenced Nonon and instantly calmed her down. "If you have to raise accusations, then do so with conviction. But don't fabricate lies out of confusion."

Feeling chastised, Nonon looked to the side, embarrassed. "Yes, Satsuki. I'm sorry. I'm just...I'm so angry at her for getting me on Harime's bad side."

Satsuki absently looked out of the window with nothing particular catching her eye.

"Understandable," she commented, "but anger is a secondary emotion." She tilted her head toward Nonon's direction without looking at her. "Do you not value our friendship enough to treat it with honesty?"

"No! No – I mean, of course I do," Nonon exclaimed in shock, reaching for Satsuki's hands and holding them up between them. Satsuki expectantly gazed at her, her eyes soft around the edges, which were an indicator that she had only been testing Nonon. But the shorter girl had missed it in her slight panic, her expression alone proving Satsuki that she valued nothing more than their friendship.

"I didn't mean to be dishonest with you, Satsuki, please believe me! I just said what came to my mind, but now that you say it, it's because I'm actually scared of what Harime is capable of doing, and frustrated because Ryuko didn't listen to me in the first place..."

Nonon trailed off when Satsuki started chuckling, her mouth curving up in an amused smile.

"Satsuki?"

"People tend to be so honest when fear is clouding their mind," Satsuki said, more to herself than to Nonon, who knew she was about to hear something she wouldn't understand, "which is why fear can be liberating."

Satsuki lowered their joined hands and gently pulled away, walking back to the sofa with the intention to continue reading for her classes. Nonon stared after her, repeating those contradictory words to herself without gaining more understanding. She looked out of the window again, as if she was expecting to see Ryuko again. But she didn't stay for long, excusing herself to go back to her own room to get assignments done.

If she had stayed around ten minutes longer, she would have witnessed a disheveled Ryuko storming out and getting into one of the sports car that belonged to Nui Harime.

If she had followed that car for two miles, she would have witnessed it crossing a red light and crashing into a truck.


	5. Not Like I Care That Much

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nui Harime's theme song intensifies

It was bright. Way too bright to keep her eyes open for one more second. But it was enough to catch a glimpse of her surroundings and to notice that she wasn't in her room.

A constant beeping noise slowly made it into Ryuko's consciousness and once she numbly realized that it wasn't her alarm clock, she tried opening her bleary eyes again to see what was making that noise. She slowly turned her head and fought against the brightness nearly blinding her, determined to quickly understand the situation she was in.

"Fuck..." she weakly cursed, squinting her eyes at an EKG, which showed a steady heartbeat pattern. "No..."

But what was even more distressing to see besides the machine was a mop of brown hair lying on the side of her bed, emitting snoring noises.

"Mako," Ryuko whispered, wanting to stretch out her hand to touch her friend's head, but her fingers only twitched in response. She took in Mako's uncomfortable position in which she had fallen asleep. It was clear that she had been watching over Ryuko, sitting by her bed side on a stool, before she had dozed off.

Ryuko felt separated from her body. Her mind commanded her to move, but none of her limbs responded and she felt like she was attached to a dead weight holding her down.

Her head recovered faster than her body. Too impatient to wait for her arms to work again, she used her teeth to rip the bedcover off her so she could carefully analyze her own body. She found no severe injuries. Nothing was broken and no cuts were made as far as Ryuko could conclude, only finding her left lower arm bandaged and parts of her ribs bruised.

For one moment, Ryuko just wanted to sink back into her bed and sleep, sleep for the rest of her life because nothing good ever came out of standing up. But her mind was occupied with too many thoughts and memories at once, and they refused to let her forget the reason why she had ended up in a hospital in the first place.

Sighing, Ryuko closed her eyes. Out of all the ways her plan could have gone wrong, she didn't think that this would have been one of them.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------

With clothes borrowed from Mako's friends and roses stolen from the gardening club, Ryuko was determined to set an end to all the ties that used to bind her to Nui. She would force the other girl to leave her out of her own volition.

She had trained various expressions in front of her mirror for this, rehearsed many lines over and over again, practiced to sound sincere and convincing because she couldn't afford to make a mistake. One bad slip up, and Nui would recognize the opening, then insert her own sharp knife of toxic words into it and tear it wide open, making it impossible for Ryuko to close it again. She would have to play strong from the start.

So when she marched up the driveway to Nui's villa, little by little did her personality vanish under the mask of a different persona she had carefully created. With every step closer to Nui, her stance shifted from lax to proper, her expression from bored to attentive, her mouth from a disinterested thin line to a soft smile.

And it achieved the desired effect. When Nui, who had not been anticipating a visitor, opened the door, she had taken several seconds to absorb Ryuko's appearance. Bewildered with the sudden visit but pleased with the tidy clothes and pretty roses, she let her in. On her way to the large living room, Ryuko noticed several car keys hanging on the wall next to the clothes rack in the hallway. What it would be like to be this wealthy, she wondered.

"Hm," Nui hummed as she smelled the roses, her eyes peering over them at Ryuko, who only smiled. "Tell me, Ryuko...why the sudden change of heart?"

Ryuko's smile didn't waver. She had expected for Nui to become suspicious.

"It's not my heart that changed," she said, and stepped closer to the blonde, "you know I couldn't leave you be no matter how many times I told you I'd never come back." She gently cupped Nui's cheek with her right hand, leaning in with a sly smile, "And you know that, don't you? You know that I can't hate you."

Ryuko brushed the roses away from Nui's face and slowly leaned in for a kiss, but felt hands pushing her back by her shoulders.

"What are you doing?" Nui said in irritation, letting the bouquet of roses drop.

"Nui?"

Pretending to be hurt and confused, Ryuko tried to reach out to her again, but Nui slapped her hands away.

"Stop it!" the blonde hissed, backing away from the other girl, who insisted on being affectionate. "This isn't you, Ryuko, this isn't the girl I made mine."

For a split second, Ryuko faltered, her stomach churning at the words.

You are the one being worn by it. This is merely her way of marking her possession.

She jerked her head abruptly to get rid of Satsuki's condescending voice echoing in her head. She couldn't fail now, she could absolutely not afford to fail.

"How do you know who I really am?" Ryuko countered, "How do you know if I haven't only acted that way to protect myself, but actually wanted you from the start?" She picked up the roses from the ground and offered them to Nui again, pleadingly saying, "Give me a chance to prove myself. I treated you like shit, and I know you say that's how you want it, but I don't want it anymore. This can't be good to both of us."

Letting out an outraged scream, Nui forcefully slapped the roses out of Ryuko's hands, her crazed eyes watching loose petals slowly drift to the ground, where the severed stems were already waiting.

"Shut up," she panted, her wild gaze trailing from the petals on the ground to Ryuko's feet, up her legs and her upper body until they landed on her face, unblinkingly staring. "Don't talk like that. It doesn't match with my Ryuko. That's not her."

"What do you mean," Ryuko said in confusion, this time genuinely worried about not understanding where Nui was going with this.

"I said," Nui began in a shrilly voice, suddenly latching onto Ryuko, who was too overwhelmed by the unexpected reaction to push her away, "that this is not the Ryuko I want to own. If you're willingly obeying me, then what's the point of breaking you into submission? If you want to be owned, then where's the fun in claiming you?"

By the time Ryuko realized that Nui wasn't acting according to her plans, it was too late to forge a Plan B on the spot. With a throaty growl, Nui bit on the collar of her shirt and tore it open with her teeth, and her hands forcefully tugged at Ryuko's belt buckle.

"What -" Ryuko jumped away from the frantic girl, whose predatory smile grew as she leisurely followed Ryuko.

"Where's the reward in conquering you if you don't resist?" Nui licked her teeth, her hands reaching out again to finish their job of taking off Ryuko's belt.

But Ryuko understood that she had to carry out her plan until the end, she already saw how effective it was in alienating Nui by being insistent about a romantic relationship.

So she caught the eager hands aimed at her belt and intertwined their fingers instead. Ryuko schooled her expression into a hurt one.

"This isn't healthy, Nui," she quietly said, suddenly thinking of Satsuki again, because those were the words she had used to describe their relationship, "we can't keep going on like this. I don't want to fight you anymore and you don't want me to fight you. What we need is a relationship where we can trust each other, don't you think we deserve that much?"

Nui's hands stilled, her expression freezing for a second before she laughed out loud, her high-pitched squeals of delight piercing Ryuko's ear.

"Oh, Ryuko," Nui sighed, looking like she had calmed down. But then a crooked smile eradicated all illusions of peace. "You are so pure...it almost hurts to touch a soul so pure."

Ryuko couldn't suppress the uneasy feeling arising from her words. Words she still couldn't understand.

"What are you talking about," she gruffly muttered, "I've got a record that no one here can match with."

Nui giggled and suddenly retreated, turning away from Ryuko. "That has absolutely nothing to do with it."

Ryuko forced herself to stay calm. The game wasn't over yet, Nui had only found a way to prolong the ending.

"When I first saw you, in your first football match," Nui quietly said, with her back still turned to Ryuko, "I just knew I had to have you. The things I could read from your body, from your eyes alone...it still makes me shudder." She paused for a breathless giggle. "You're driven by such a strong sense of purpose, I've never seen that on anyone before. Once you set your goal, you walk your path toward it no matter what."

Nui glanced over her shoulder at Ryuko, her half-lidded eyes glinting. "I've read your records, Ryuko. The things you've done...it is an impressive list. But they all have something in common." She smiled. "You did all that to survive."

Ryuko gritted her teeth. "That doesn't answer the question."

"Oh, it does," Nui lightly said, clasping her hands together behind her back. "I'll make you see."

She faced Ryuko again, an unnerving smile plastered on her face. "You lost everything so early. Your mommy, your daddy... the system failed to take care of you, you were on your own, had to fight and steal to survive, but you still kept going to school. You still saw a purpose in your life, you still saw a future. How many people would have done the same? How many people would have just completely resorted to the life of a criminal? Or just given all up?"

Ryuko faced to the side. She had never thought of it that way. Dying had just not been an option, all she knew was that she had wanted to live to see the next day. She had only thought about getting a better life, never about ending it. Yes, the world was harsh and cruel, but also beautiful and touching, and she wouldn't want to miss out on the finer side of living. And her dreams had proven to be her guiding light, keeping her strong and ambitious through all the tough times. But it had all worked out, she was where she wanted to be, where she belonged.

"So?" Ryuko grunted.

"So?" Nui repeated with a laugh. "Isn't it obvious? Your beliefs are so pure. You think this world is beautiful enough to live for, you think that you can change me with love... even if it's pretended."

Ryuko's eyes widened in alarm. She trained her look on the ground. "It's not pretended."

"Oh, Ryuko," Nui sighed. "I already told you that you are a bad liar. Bad liars make bad actors."

Clenching her fists, Ryuko kept internally chanting to herself to stay calm. But it was too late. Nui had found an opening and it would take her less than a few planted strikes to unravel everything.

"You made two big mistakes," Nui casually said, walking toward where the scattered roses lied on the ground. She observed them with a blank expression before she stepped on the last intact rose, crushing it beneath her pink boots. "For one, you should have at least made an effort to buy me roses from a florist and not steal it from our gardening club. Shows me how much you actually care."

She glanced at Ryuko to watch her expression, which remained stoic. She let out a long stretched sigh. "You didn't think I would recognize them? Their smell is so distinctive – the essential ingredient of my perfume. I'm hurt you didn't realize that."

Ryuko's frozen expression masked the inner turmoil she felt. She hadn't thought of smelling the roses, and her insensitive nose wouldn't have caught their fragrance otherwise.

"And your second big mistake," Nui said, sounding somewhat amused, "is thinking that the reason I want you is for sex." She giggled to herself, before she continued, "Now, you're not entirely wrong of course, but that's just a bonus. The real treasure here is the thrill of owning you. It's like taming a wild animal, isn't it exciting to get you all for myself when you insist on being independent and free?"

It became more and more difficult for Ryuko to conceal her anger. She could feel her blood heating up, and her cheeks were tinged red.

It took only one glance for Nui to realize that. And she found great pleasure in it. "Oh," she remarked with delight, seeing Ryuko's agitated stance, "did you give up on your plan to make me leave you?"

She giggled innocently, before she added with a malicious smile, "Tell you what, it was flawed from the start. I know you're here because you think I'm the one who's responsible for Kaori's hideous face. But, it may be hard for you to grasp, not everything revolves around you, and I don't care for the girls you entertain with in your free time as long as you're mine in the end."

And Ryuko finally snapped. "Don't fucking lie!" she burst out, running a shaking hand through her hair which unloosened her ponytail, causing her hair to fall around her shoulders in messy waves. "They're trying to cover it up, and who knows how to do that better than you?"

Nui's smile was so sweet and unfit for the situation that it only angered Ryuko more. "The ones who did it, of course."

"Who?"

"The swimming team, who else?" Nui said with a shrug.

Ryuko's mind went blank. She couldn't even begin to believe or comprehend this.

"Stop fucking around," Ryuko said through gritted teeth, but Nui kept grinning.

"You see," she began to explain, "before Kaori became Kaori, she was Kazuki. And used to swim for the boys' team in high school. Naturally, when some of her team members found out, they weren't too happy. But they were so accepting of her before that revelation, I wonder, what changed? La vie c'est drole, isn't it?"

Ryuko couldn't reply in shock. Not over Kaori's past, she had known that; Kaori had felt comfortable enough to share it with her during their first date. It had never gone beyond that because between the second and third kiss, they had realized that they lacked sexual chemistry. On the other side, their compatibility in humor and music taste had saved the night and they had parted with the promise to become better friends, which Mako had been thrilled to find out since she had been the one to introduce them to each other.

So to think that this sweet girl would be the target of a hate crime made Ryuko feel sick. The fact that her own team mates would that to her, risking not only her, but other clueless members' health as well, unsettled Ryuko greatly.

"So...it wasn't you?" Ryuko muttered.

"Why would I bother to do that and get my hands dirty?" Nui replied with a dismissive handwave. "I don't have time for this."

"What about Nonon?" Ryuko probed further. She had to be sure.

"On a first name basis now, aren't we?" Nui asked with narrowed eyes. "Maybe she's a case I should look into?"

"Don't you dare," Ryuko growled, shifting her stance into a more offensive one. "I'm just asking because her flute was smeared with something I think is toxic yesterday."

Nui carelessly shrugged. "Wouldn't mind if it was. But sadly, I wouldn't go such lengths for a silly prank. There's nothing for me to gain."

Ryuko suddenly felt exhausted. She always did when talking to Nui, there wasn't a second where she could relax around her. Her presence demanded caution and attention, because her lashing out was possible at any moment.

"I heard enough," Ryuko muttered tiredly, only thinking about leaving this villa and never setting a foot near it again. She turned away from Nui and headed for the hallway, toying with the idea of taking one of the car keys hanging on the wall. She would return the car of course, but she just didn't want to walk right now.

"That's it?" She heard Nui's disappointed voice speaking up behind her. "You're not going to punish me?"

"For what?" Ryuko spat over her shoulder, her footsteps slowing down. Though it still made her sick to know that Kaori's situation was caused by some people in her own swimming team, she was somewhat relieved that Nui wasn't involved, meaning that Nonon had nothing to fear of in the future aside from her own enemies she had made. Her plan hadn't quite worked out, but at least, no one outside their messed up relationship had to fear of being targeted.

"I see how it is," Nui said with a sigh, "you really learned how to control your anger. It's no fun anymore."

"Sorry for ruining your fun," Ryuko sarcastically said, already standing at the front door.

"Then I will tell you something that will work you up in no time!" Nui cheerily said, and before Ryuko could leave, she added in the same chirpy tone, "I'm the reason that Uzu Sanageyama is in a hospital right now! It was all me."

Ryuko's hand on the door handle froze. As her wide eyes blankly stared ahead, everything in her mind screamed to just walk away and forget what Nui had said because she was only toying with her, there was no way she could be responsible for Uzu's injuries. How? She wasn't the one who had tackled him so brutally that his ribs had snapped.

She shook her head and tried to move again, but she suddenly felt cold hands on her shoulders and Nui's voice whispering into her ear. "You were ignoring me the week before that game...I felt so lonely, Ryuko, so neglected, but you didn't care – how mean of you, don't you think? You were so set on winning that game that you hardly cared about anything besides training. And I decided to show you your place, to show you that you needed me."

She paused to nib at Ryuko's reddened ear.

Ryuko's face was flushed in rage. Her body started shaking, waiting for the bomb to drop.

"I had no choice," Nui sighed, "you forced me to act. I had to make some changes to Sanageyama's shoulder pads...nothing what a future Grand Couturier can't do. And it worked, didn't it? He didn't realize the lighter weight, and when the collision happened, wasn't it amazing how quick he folded?"

For one second, Ryuko felt nothing. She felt eerily empty, like the life had been sucked out of her. In the next, she was flooded with waves of hot fury, crashing against her again and again, drowning her in heat and desire for blood.

With an almost animal-like howl, Ryuko threw Nui off her and blindly knocked over a clothes rack. She wanted to destroy every overpriced furniture in this house, and break every expensive looking decoration. But most of all, she wanted to snap the blonde girl standing in front of her with an unfazed smile in half.

"You," she growled throatily, her fingers itching to get a hold of Nui's neck.

"Finally!" Nui exclaimed in delight, clapping cheerfully. "Just like on that night! You were so amazing, I couldn't wait to have you, even if it meant using Satsuki's apartment next to the football field! But she was at the hospital with that useless boy anyway."

"Just shut up!" Ryuko shouted, clenching her fists until the skin around her knuckles went white. "I'll fucking finish you!"

"Go ahead," Nui giggled, "why don't you try?"

"I said, shut the fuck up!"

Ryuko raised a heavily shaking fist, but didn't do more than that.

A large smile appeared on Nui's face at seeing Ryuko's reluctance to actually use violence against her. "You know you can't do it, so why don't you punish me in the only way you can?"

And Ryuko swung her hand. But not at Nui. After blindly grabbing one of the hanging car keys, she growled, "Don't you underestimate me," before she stormed out of the villa. She looked down on the key she had taken, instantly recognizing the black horse on a yellow background.

She didn't hesitate in getting in the sports car, she didn't want to risk Nui stopping her. But the girl didn't seem to have followed her, maybe she had realized that the easily triggered Ryuko was really gone.

After getting used to the unique cockpit of the car, Ryuko pulled out of the driveway and just stepped on the gas, feeling some sort of satisfaction when the fast acceleration pressed her into her seat. Buildings and landscapes flew past her, all she could think about was getting to the local hospital to see Uzu Sanageyama. He had been the real victim in their twisted relationship.

I'm so sorry, she desperately kept thinking. She was at fault for everything. His health and future was on the line because of her.

She realized she was crying when her vision started getting blurry, and when she used a hand to wipe at her eyes, she didn't only miss out on the red lights, but everything that came after the collision with the truck.

\-------------------------------------------------------------

Ryuko woke up with a gasp, and started violently coughing. She reached out to a glass of water standing on the night stand, her fingertips barely grazing the glass, when someone pushed it into her hands.

"Thanks, Mako," she hoarsely said, and greedily gulped down the water.

"What a moron."

And she almost coughed it all out again. Hitting herself on her chest, Ryuko forced herself to swallow down the water, then panted heavily while looking up in shock.

"What?" she weakly croaked when she recognized a certain pink-haired drum major. "You? But – where's Mako?"

Nonon crossed her arms and pretended to be annoyed. "You didn't have a lot of brain cells to begin with; that accident didn't help at all." She sighed. "Anyway, I sent that underachiever home for a shower, she's been here for 24 hours."

Ryuko's eyes continued to stare at her without blinking. "I don't get it. Why are you here?"

Turning her face away, Nonon seemed to get embarrassed about that question and she squirmed in her seat while flippantly saying, "I was visiting the monkey anyway, and Satsuki told me you'd be here, not that I care. Just wanted to see how your pitiful ass looks like after a crash, but you don't seem any different to me. Just as dumb as before."

And a slow smile spread on Ryuko's smug face. "You care," she said with a smirk, wanting to laugh when Nonon looked so indignant like someone had insulted her taste in music, "you actually care about me, don't you? Jesus, Piglet, if I'd known -"

"Just shut up," Nonon huffed and stood up. "I wish you would choke on your ego."

Somehow feeling elated, Ryuko couldn't help grinning, blaming it on the drugs. "But then you'd miss me, just admit it. You don't want to miss out on my sparkling personality, do you?"

"I'm this close," Nonon angrily muttered to herself, walking out of the room, "this close to choking that idiot myself."

Ryuko's laughter followed her out of the room, and Nonon sighed in relief once she was outside. She turned to the girl who had been waiting by the door.

"She's fine, Satsuki," Nonon muttered, "still the self-centered asshole we know. No major damages, besides in her head, but that was already before the accident."

The wrinkle between Satsuki's eyebrows flattened. "Is she aware of her luck?" she simply inquired.

"Is she aware of anything besides herself?" Nonon rhetorically asked. "The doctors say it's a miracle. The car was a total wreck, but she came out of it with only a few bruises and a minor concussion."

Satsuki hummed in acknowledgment, her chest deflating with a silent sigh of relief.

"Say, Satsuki," Nonon hesitantly began, and Satsuki tilted her head in interest. "What is Harime going to do about this? If she sues her, then Matoi will get thrown out of Honnouji."

This thought had already crossed her mind, and who would Satsuki Kiryuin be if she didn't have a plan for everything.

"First, I will have to interrogate Matoi myself to understand the reasons for her reckless behavior," Satsuki explained. "If I'm convinced that she truly regrets her actions, then I will see to it that she gets no more punishment than what is justified."

From this point on, Nonon realized that Ryuko had more luck than initially assumed. Because if Satsuki was on someone's side, then victory was already in reach. As long as she didn't mess up, there was a good chance that the accident would remain nothing but a dismissible memory, and not become a life-changing tragedy.

"Don't tell her that though," Nonon said, pointing with a thumb over shoulder at the door behind her. "Her ego will burst through the roof if she thinks you care about her."

She was surprised when Satsuki offered her a chuckle in response.

"If that is all that there is to her character," she said with her eyes closed, her mouth hinting at a smile, "would we still be here?"


	6. So Don't Tell Anyone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Satsuki and Ryuko finally have the talk. Most likely not what you think.

After her second night in the hospital, Ryuko was getting restless, and she pestered every nurse that came in to look after her for an early release. Depending on their appearance, Ryuko was sometimes more, sometimes less charming in her wording, and one time she chose not to bring up this topic at all when an especially attractive nurse tended to her. Their answers remained the same: her release date was a decision made by the doctors, not by them.

Despite understanding the reasons, Ryuko was far from agreeing with them. She couldn’t afford to miss more classes, she still had assignments she hadn’t started yet due next week and what was even worse, an important football game was approaching and she absolutely didn’t want to watch it from the sidelines.

Personally, she felt fine and close to fully recovered. She just wanted to get up and walk home. Already sick from the smell of hospitals, the boring TV program and her loudly snoring roommate, she was more than ready to abandon the bland hospital food and return to her life in Honnouji.

Ryuko sat up straight and pulled off her bed cover. She wiggled her toes and stretched her legs, doing various exercises to test if she had completely regained feeling of her limbs again. She was weaker than normal, but only because she had been lying on her back for two days straight. Convinced that exercising would accelerate the healing process, she intended to get up and go for a walk outside, maybe ask a doctor on her way to sign her release forms.

“Be reasonable, Matoi.”

Startled, Ryuko had looked up too fast and banged the back of her head against the headboard of her bed. Cursing under her breath and rubbing her wounded spot, she squinted at the person leaning against the wall with her arms crossed opposite of her.

“First Piglet, now you, Gigabrows,” Ryuko said with a lopsided smile. She ran a hand through her messy hair. “I’m starting to feel loved.”

Aside from emitting an amused hum, Satsuki didn’t react to her words.

The lack of a disarming retort surprised Ryuko; she had expected for Satsuki to easily counter with something condescending, twisting her words around so she would seem like the fool. Maybe she felt generous today, maybe Ryuko’s condition stopped her from being too harsh on her.

Somehow, this thought didn’t make Ryuko feel better.

“What?” she uncomfortably said. “Aren’t you going to say something about how delusional I am?”

Satsuki raised one eyebrow, mildly asking, “Where does this self-deprecating humor of yours come from?”

“Just a measure to beat you to it.” Ryuko stopped raking her fingers through her hair in an attempt to straighten them. She didn’t even know why she bothered to tidy up her appearance in the first place. It was only Satsuki. “You know, before you can say shit about me, I’d rather do it myself, because it’s me after all. Only I’m allowed to talk trash about myself. So I guess this is where my humor comes from.”

“Matoi…”

Satsuki tilted her head as she observed Ryuko with a pondering look.

“What?” Ryuko grunted in displeasure, not liking the scrutinizing gaze she was under. She felt vulnerable in her unflattering hospital gown, she would’ve even preferred to be naked because her body was something she was proud of. Not even Satsuki with her high standards would be able to deny her admirable physical form.

“Your honesty is astounding,” Satsuki simply replied. One corner of her mouth curved up. “It is a pleasant change from the usual expletives you choose to stain your appeal with.”

“My…appeal,” Ryuko muttered slowly, and she sank back into her bed, pulling her blanket up to her chin. “I’m still dreaming, that’s it, because this Kiryuin is seriously freaking me out.”

“Refrain from interpreting it as more than it is,” Satsuki said with an eye roll, uncrossing her arms as she strode over to Ryuko’s bedside and gracefully sat down on the same stool Mako had been sitting in. “For your own benefit, I want you to relay the events leading to your accident.”

Ryuko turned her head to face Satsuki in disbelief. “You want me to relive all that shit again?”

“No,” Satsuki calmly said, her expression genuine enough for Ryuko to relax. “But you must be aware that your actions are not without consequences. If Nui decides to press charges, your scholarship will be terminated. I’m sure you don’t need me to elaborate on what would happen next.”

Gritting her teeth, Ryuko faced away. Even with the bedcover pulled up to her chin, she felt more naked than before. She had never let her social standing and poor financial background get to her, it was just something she had to live with, the same way she had to live with her one crooked toe or her insensitive nose that had lost most of its smelling ability after being broken more than three times. She had never let her lack of money make her feel inferior, not even after enrolling in Honnouji where the majority of the students were of upper middle class and higher. But now as she lied on the tiny hospital bed, under the gaze of one of wealthiest persons of the whole state, she was reminded again that she couldn’t escape the system that depended on money.

“I’m not here to condemn your actions,” Satsuki quietly said, her usually steely voice lacking its edge, sounding almost soft. “Because I know what kind of person Nui is, I want to hear your side of the story first.”

“It’s okay,” Ryuko mumbled into her blanket, still determined to stare out the hospital window instead of facing Satsuki. “I got into this shit myself and no matter which side of the story, I’m the idiot who wrecked that car. I don’t see how you can change anything about that.”

Satsuki furrowed her brows at Ryuko’s defeated tone. “Matoi, are you questioning my authority within the Honnouji board?”

Ryuko finally turned her head to glance at Satsuki with a blank, lost look. “Don’t know. Depends. Can you guarantee that I won’t get thrown out because of your crazy step-sister?”

Satsuki set out to answer with a superior air when she faltered, and furrowed her eyebrows. She searchingly looked at Ryuko.

“So you can’t do it?” Ryuko concluded from the hesitancy in Satsuki’s reply.

“You said ‘step-sister’,” Satsuki said with no regard to Ryuko’s words. “Matoi, you referred to Nui as my step-sister.”

Ryuko stared back and cluelessly blinked at her. “Isn’t that what she is to you?”

Satsuki impatiently shook her head, “I’m merely surprised that you finally learned to differentiate the terms.”

“Oh, yeah,” Ryuko sheepishly said, then looked somewhat lost in thoughts. “I guess I realized you two had nothing in common. Like nothing at all. Though you both piss me off, you both do it in a different way. With her, I’m bound to do something stupid. Wasn’t cool of me to make you related to someone like her, you’re way less of a psycho.”

“Despite your poorly worded version of an apology,” Satsuki paused, her mouth hinting at a smile, “your newfound tad of sensibleness is still quite a feat coming from you.”

“I’m vulgar, not stupid,” Ryuko said with shrug. “I do learn shit from time to time, even if it would be easier staying dumb and ignorant. And believe me, being an asshole gives me far less pain than thinking of not offensive words to say to you. It’s physically straining, seriously.”

“Your efforts are appreciated.” Satsuki crossed her legs and folded her hands over thigh. “So are you willing to cooperate?”

Ryuko scratched at a wound above her right eye, looking at Satsuki somewhat warily. “Why do you even want to help me? I’ve done nothing but given you shit. Hell, even I wouldn’t want to help myself.”

“This is where you and I differ, Matoi,” Satsuki neutrally replied. “As the Student Council President, I cannot afford to think selfishly, and the well-being of all students concerns me. You don’t receive preferential treatment.”

“Wow,” Ryuko breathed out with a laugh, “okay, I got it. You would visit everyone personally and promise to help them, even if it means testifying against your own step-sister.”

Satsuki uncrossed her legs and stood up, smoothing out her skirt. “It is only an offer, of course. If you insist on being an obstinate fool, then I will not question your decision and leave. My time is far too valuable to waste.”

As she headed for the door, Ryuko made incomprehensible noises before she stretched out an arm after her and shouted, “Wait! I’ll stop fucking around and tell you everything if you can promise me that I won’t get thrown out.”

Satsuki had stopped walking, but still hadn’t turned around. She faced to the side as she said over her shoulder, “There is no guarantee. But I will put in a good word for you if you stop behaving like the uneducated swine you pretend to be.”

Ryuko fell silent.

“I looked up your major and your grades,” Satsuki turned around, crossing her arms. “90 points average in chemical engineering. Tell me, Matoi, is it this important to you not to be associated with your fellow engineering students?”

Pulling her blanket over her face, Ryuko’s muffled voice muttered, “No one would be afraid of me anymore if they thought I was a huge ass nerd.”

Sighing deeply, Satsuki returned to sit on the stool next to Ryuko’s bed. “Your way of thinking is unfathomable.”

“Didn’t expect you to understand.”

Ryuko threw the blanket off her with a sigh.

“Everyone already respects you here. But you have no idea how much shit I’ve gotten during my first weeks just because I ranked higher than most of the assholes and didn’t come straight from an elite school. You know, I tried acting nice, but it kind of gets tiring to smile if everyday some dude thinks he needs to tell you that you’re studying in the wrong field. So whenever they ask what a girl’s doing there, I tell them I’m there to punch them in the face and when they laugh, I fucking punch them in the face. Works quite well, I haven’t punched someone in a while.”

When Satsuki didn’t reply for a long time, Ryuko questioningly turned her head to her. “You think I’m stupid for doing this, right?”

“Not necessarily,” Satsuki calmly answered, and leaned back in her seat. “I don’t condone the violence and I can’t pretend to sympathize, but I think I can understand.”

“Good enough for me,” Ryuko hummed and crossed her arms behind her head. “Okay, I’ll tell you what Nui did. But first of all, how’s Sanageyama doing?”

Perplexed by the sudden topic change that had no coherence for Satsuki, she answered nonetheless. “His condition is stable. He made fast progress after his last surgery and he should be able to leave in two weeks. But he’s ordered not to physically exercise for at least a month.”

Ryuko blankly stared at the ceiling. “What about his scholarship?”

“Secured,” Satsuki curtly replied. Her curiosity couldn’t let her have this question unanswered. “Why the sudden interest in him? I can’t recall you two being on civil terms.”

“Well, it’s a long story,” Ryuko said with a humorless smile. “But since you got some time, why don’t you lean back and listen and try not to get mad?”

And she told her everything from the start, how Mako had told her of Kaori’s burned face, how they both had assumed Nui behind this and how Ryuko had thought that Nonon would be next. She told her of her plan to estrange herself from Nui by acting overly affectionate and romantic, and how it had backfired because she had been figured out. There had been a short period of relief to learn that Nui wasn’t targeting any girls who had been seen with Ryuko, but that had quickly shattered once she had revealed that she had modified Uzu Sanageyama’s protection gear to make him prone to severe injuries.

By the end of her story, Ryuko could see Satsuki’s agitation in her eyes, could notice her working her stiff jaw. Though she still sat perfectly poised on her stool, the muscles in her neck were tensed and Ryuko wondered if Satsuki was going to personally confront Nui.

“And that’s how I landed here,” Ryuko finished drily, gesturing with her arms around. “Just wanted to see Sanageyama at this hospital and ended up staying myself.”

Satsuki didn’t speak up. She had been attentively listening without interrupting once, only her facial expressions reacting accordingly to different parts of Ryuko’s story. Right now, she looked as murderous as Ryuko had felt that day.

“Thank you, Matoi,” Satsuki quietly said, her dark expression clearing into a neutral one. She inhaled deeply. “This certainly sheds some light on the cause of Uzu’s severe injuries. I will have his protection gear inspected immediately.”

“Unless Nui already replaced them,” Ryuko muttered grimly. “Now that someone knows, she won’t leave it there as evidence.”

Satsuki looked positively surprised by Ryuko’s thoughtfulness.

“I will make her talk, do not worry.” She stood up and glanced at a clock hanging on the wall. “I’m afraid I will have to cut this visit short since there are several decisions to be made. As for your own situation, I will see what I can do.”

Once again, she was heading for the door when Ryuko called out after her.

“Kiryuin,” Ryuko cleared her throat. “Thanks for listening. And believing me.”

Quietly chuckling, Satsuki faced Ryuko with an amused smile. “Being a bad liar is not always a disadvantage. It certainly helps distinguishing the truth from the lies.”

She subtly nodded her head as in a silent goodbye and gracefully walked out of the room.

Ryuko threw her blanket over her face again and angrily repeated to herself, “’Thanks for listening and believing me’?” She let out a long groan and hit herself on her forehead. “Fuck, this is so going to hurt my reputation.”


	7. And Don't Make Me Regret It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> But You Still Constantly Do And I Guess I Am A Fool For Still Caring About You -  
> not a song by fall out boy

The day after Satsuki's visit, Ryuko finally got to sign her release forms and returned home where she found a nurturing Mako already waiting with her favorite meal: croquettes made of mysterious ingredients. Her roommate was convinced that food was all Ryuko needed to regain her full strength in no time, and Ryuko agreed, not letting herself be told twice to stuff her mouth with croquettes.

She showed up for the football practice the next day, only allowing herself to quietly wince when she got tackled in the same side where her bruises from the accident were. Though she hadn't told anyone about the car crash and short hospital stay, everyone seemed to know, which didn't surprise her. Ryuko was rather glad that no one acted any differently around her, she didn't want to be treated lightly just because of some minor bruises.

Though her teammates didn't hold back during the practice, they acknowledged her weakened condition by extending a hand whenever she had been tackled to the ground. Mutual respect had always been one of the team's most reliable strengths, and this time was no different; in fact, the respect for Ryuko had only increased because of her determination to still participate after her accident. Even her coach Tsumugu had implied that he wouldn't punish her for missing a practice or two, but she had insisted on training along.

So she clenched her teeth and fought hard to be on the same level as her teammates, not wanting to hold anyone down. By the end of the practice, she was wheezing like an old man, and she wouldn't have been able to move if it weren't for some of her fellow football players carrying her to the locker room.

"Want me to call Mako?" one of them asked, knowing that Mako was her best and probably only friend.

Ryuko tiredly shook her head. "She doesn't have a car, and I don't expect her to carry me."

She wondered how she had managed to get home the last time she had been this drained and weak.

"Do you have Jakuzure's number?" she suddenly asked.

Surprised, her team mates shared a look, and one of them hesitantly said, "You mean Nonon Jakuzure, the drum major?"

"Yeah, the short and annoying one."

Through a friend's friend whose girlfriend was in the marching band, they got Nonon's number and called her. It seemed like she hung up after hearing why they called, so Ryuko grabbed the phone and hit dial again.

"I told you I'm not her fucking taxi service," Nonon's shrill voice filled the line as soon as she picked up.

"Of course you're not," Ryuko flatly said. "As if I could afford to pay you for driving me."

"Oh, this is great," Nonon sarcastically said, and some rustling could be heard in the background. "What makes your pea brain think that I would go and drive your stupid ass home?"

"It's like you don't know me at all," Ryuko lowly chuckled, but grimaced when her chest hurt from the vibrations. "I don't think at all. I just know that you're not going to let this chance of being needed pass by."

Nonon huffed and hung up.

Ryuko's teammates raised their eyebrows at her when she handed them back the phone with a small smile.

"So did she say she's going to give you a ride?" they asked.

"No."

"But how are you getting home?"

"Jakuzure's going to give me a ride," Ryuko simply said.

Just when her teammates were going to ask if her brain had been damaged in the accident too, the phone rang, and one of them picked up.

"Yeah," they warily said, giving Ryuko an incredulous look. "Yeah, okay. I'll tell her that. Okay, I'll pass this on as well. Word for word, I got it." The call ended fairly quick.

Ryuko expectantly looked up.

"She'll be here in ten minutes. And she said you should shower if you want to be allowed in her car. Also, she told me to tell you that she hates being needed by someone like you, and she's not doing you a favor with this, it's only because Satsuki overheard you and told her to get you."

Ryuko grinned and crossed her arms behind her head. "I'm so loved, man."

–

Nonon kept huffing and sighing in irritation, shooting a glare every once in a while at Ryuko while she stiffly drove her car in silence. They had agreed to keep the radio mute if they were only going to fight about what kind of songs they wanted to listen, which was the reason for the awkward atmosphere between them. That was how Nonon saw it. Ryuko on the other hand was too exhausted and sleepy to be bothered by this. Her eyes half-closed, she felt her consciousness slowly leave her as her body got used to the comfortable car seat.

"Don't you dare to fall asleep now," Nonon said when she saw Ryuko's head tilting to the side. "I'm not going to carry your heavy ass."

"'m not 'eavy," Ryuko muttered drowsily. "'m...'m not..." she trailed off, her mouth remaining open.

"Fantastic," Nonon sighed. The black haired girl had fallen asleep.

Nonon made a split decision she knew she would regret, but right now, she didn't care about the consequences because she knew there was no way she would carry the girl to her dorm. She changed the direction of her planned route and drove past the One-Star-Neighborhood and the Two-Star-Neighborhood.

Pulling up in the driveway of the Three-Star-Dorms, she dialed the number of a friend and waited two minutes before he appeared out of his own villa and walked over to her car with a confused expression.

"Don't ask," Nonon muttered, gesturing to the sleeping girl in her passenger seat. "Just carry her inside and put her on our couch."

Though Ira Gamagori still looked like he had many questions, he nodded and opened the door to the passenger side, carefully scooping the girl up in his huge arms. To him, she barely weighed anything, and he easily carried her inside Nonon's and Satsuki's shared villa. Ryuko's head lolled from side to side, but that didn't disrupt her sleep, continuing to softly snore in peace.

"Just look at this dumbass," Nonon said through gritted teeth, pulling a disgusted grimace when she spotted drool dribbling down Ryuko's chin. "So disgraceful."

When Ira carried Ryuko to the living room, Satsuki looked up in surprise at the unexpected guest. She abruptly stood up, thinking that something was wrong, but when she realized that Ryuko was only sleeping, she slowly sat down again. She didn't react to Nonon's questioning gaze, instead saying, "You do have a curious way of showing that you do not care about Matoi."

Nonon pointed to Ryuko, who was put down on the couch by Ira, "That idiot fell asleep in my car when I told her not to. Making me be her driver was bad enough, but I draw the line at babysitting." She nodded to Ira. "Thanks. I guess being made of muscles has its perks."

"I didn't do this for you, Jakuzure," Ira said, unaffected. "I should have noticed Matoi struggling during practice, but she did well in convincing everyone that her accident didn't impact her performance. As the football captain, I'm at fault for not taking more care of my teammates. She probably only allowed herself to collapse after most of us have left the field. Very stubborn that Matoi."

Satsuki's frown deepened. "I shouldn't be surprised that she disregarded the doctor's orders. They explicitly told her not to exercise for at least a week."

"It's not like you can tell that idiot anything," Nonon sighed.

"While I agree that what she did was reckless, I can understand why," Ira interjected. "The next football game is in two weeks, and it's the last one before the play-offs. That's when Tsumugu will decide who his main players will be and it's her chance to fortify her position as an irreplaceable player. Just being a part of the team and sitting on the sidelines is not enough for her. And it will threaten her scholarship if she doesn't deliver results."

They watched Ryuko turning on her side, and she winced in her sleep when she laid on her bruises. But her exhaustion trumped her pain and she went back to snoring, sleeping with her eyebrows twitching in discomfort.

"Ira," Satsuki said, "carry her to my bedroom, please. Her condition will only worsen if she sleeps on her wounds, and the couch doesn't provide the comfort she needs."

"Satsuki," Nonon protested, looking with wide eyes between Satsuki and Ryuko, "you don't want that thing in your bed, look at how she drools – I feel dirty just looking at her."

The corners of Satsuki's mouth lifted in a small smile. "I'm sure you do."

Ira wordlessly picked up Ryuko and walked past Nonon, who didn't quite know what to make of Satsuki's words and now sulked.

"Only take off her shoes and her jacket," Satsuki said, and Ira nodded, then vanished down the hall to the bedrooms.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Nonon doubtingly said. "That girl causes trouble wherever she goes, and we'll be pulled right into her chaotic world."

Satsuki picked up her cup of tea and chuckled into it. "Well, whether you acknowledge it or not, we are already a part of her chaotic world."

–

Ryuko hadn't slept this well in a long time. Her first thought when she woke up was how tired she must have been for her cheap mattress to suddenly become a place of heaven that she didn't want to leave. She felt like weightlessly floating on clouds, and her body thanked her with feeling completely refreshed. Even her pillow seemed to have become fluffier, and when she pressed her face against it, her nose picked up a pleasant scent. She inhaled greedily to get more of that scent in her insensitive nose and let out a content sigh.

"Mhm," she hummed with a smile, "smells like..."

Ryuko shot up so fast from the bed that she fell off it, and she landed on the floor with a loud thud and a pained groan. Driven by a foreboding sense of panic, she fought with the blanket intertwined between her legs, while letting her wide eyes wander around the unfamiliar room.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," she kept hissing under her breath, finally managing to kick off the silky blanket, and she quickly stood up. "Shit, shit, shit..."

She saw her jacket hanging over a chair and picked it up, and while she put it on, she glanced at her surroundings. Expensive and tasteful furniture erased all her hopes that this was just a bad dream. She really was in Satsuki's bedroom, and her bedroom alone was larger than the dorm room Ryuko and Mako shared.

Ryuko was afraid of opening the door. She doubted that Satsuki or Nonon would leave the villa while they had a guest sleeping in one of their bedrooms, and this meant that she would have to face them one way or another. Of course she could try sneaking past them, but she didn't know this place and she didn't believe in getting past Satsuki without being spotted.

She pulled at her hair in frustration. She cursed herself for falling asleep in Nonon's car, she really should have listened to her, but in that moment, her brain had just shut down and reassured her that it was okay to let her guard down.

Ryuko walked over to the window, peering down to evaluate the height and whether she would survive jumping out of it. But then she realized she had no shoes on, so even if she were to survive the jump from the second floor, her bare feet would be beyond damaged to walk all the way back to her dorm.

"Surely you are not that desperate?"

Turning around with a startled look, Ryuko saw Satsuki entering the room. "We heard some noise and thought you might be awake."

Ryuko warily glanced at her.

"I've read enough stories to know where this ends," she said, placing her hands on the window sill behind her for support.

Satsuki furrowed her brows. "What kind of stories?"

It took Ryuko a few seconds to realize that Satsuki was genuinely puzzled, and she didn't know whether to burst out laughing or to become more uncomfortable because now she had to explain her train of thoughts.

"Never mind," Ryuko muttered with a sigh, relaxing. "Waking up here messed up my head."

"I can see." Satsuki gestured to her bed, "Did you rest well?"

Somewhat embarrassed, Ryuko nodded and scratched her neck. "Nice mattress you got there. And nice pillow." She faced away when she remembered smelling it.

"I'm glad to hear."

"Anyway," Ryuko quickly said, "I really need to get home now or Mako will worry."

"She is already informed by Ira," Satsuki calmly replied. "She sounded very concerned over the phone."

"Crap," Ryuko muttered. "I keep doing this to her, she always worries about me and the whole Nui thing is still freaking her out. I feel like I can't give her anything back, I'm just that useless friend that always relies on her."

Satsuki looked surprised at the information Ryuko was willing to share with her, and she cleared her throat when she didn't know how to immediately respond. "I'm sure she doesn't see it that way," she slowly said. "But if it helps, you can tell her that Nui is a problem of the past."

"She is?" Ryuko immediately asked. "Did you already talk to her? How did it go? What did she say? What did you say?"

"Matoi," Satsuki forcefully said, and Ryuko stopped asking more question. "I did not talk to her yet, but I have contacted several authorities within the Honnoji board. Her next moves will be under close watch. And I have a few ideas to gather enough leverage to use on her."

"And they are...?"

But Satsuki shook her head. "These are private family matters."

Though Ryuko didn't look satisfied with that answer, she understood nonetheless. "I guess it's enough for now." She struggled with herself for a few seconds before she uttered between gritted teeth, "Thanks for, you know, everything."

Satsuki seemed to look entertained by Ryuko's embarrassment. "You are certainly making progress with showing appreciation."

Ryuko felt her cheeks getting warm, and she quickly said, "Anyway, I need to go now. Don't wanna let Mako wait any longer."

"Of course," Satsuki said with a nod. "Be sure to notify Nonon on your way out." And she walked out of her room first.

Ryuko quickly realized that she should have followed Satsuki because when she stepped out on the hallway, she finally saw what it meant to live in a Three-Star-Villa. It had more rooms than necessary, yet still every single of them was in use. Through some open doors, she could sneak a peek at a study, a room filled with only music instruments, another with only books and a couch, two bathrooms, and a fitness room.

"Damn," Ryuko muttered. She finally found the stairs and went down, and it led her to another long hallway. She could see the large frontdoor and her shoes placed on the shoe rack. Her body already turned to go that direction, when she remembered Satsuki's words and walked the other way instead. She knew from her visit to Nui's villa - every villa in the Three-Star-Neighborhood was built the same - that the hallway would eventually lead her to the living room.

She hesitantly entered and called out, "Piglet?"

"I knew I would regret this," Nonon's voice rang out, and a sofa cushion hit Ryuko in the face.

"Blargh," Ryuko spluttered because she had had her mouth open when it had hit her. "I never told you to bring me here."

"And I never told you to fall asleep in my fucking car, but you fucking did. Just appreciate that you didn't wake up in a back alley."

Ryuko picked up the cushion Nonon had thrown, and thought about pressing it against Nonon's face for a long time when she saw Satsuki sitting by a table nearby, silently drinking her tea while her eyes glanced at her in amusement.

"Whatever," Ryuko relented, throwing the cushion back on the sofa without hitting Nonon. "I'm out."

"Yeah, get your ungrateful ass out of my sight," Nonon huffed.

Ryuko thought twice about using that cushion to suffocate Nonon, but then turned to Satsuki with a nod. "Thanks for giving me a ride and letting me sleep. You're really alright, Kiryuin."

Satsuki raised her tea cup in acknowledgment while Nonon indignantly exclaimed, "Wait a minute here, I'm the one who drove you and let you keep sleeping. What about me?"

Ryuko chuckled and dismissively waved at her. "I guess thanks for being an obeying dog to Kiryuin?"

This time around, she was prepared for the second cushion flying her way and she caught it, then immediately returned it to the sender with more force and speed, hitting Nonon right in the face with it.

Ryuko laughed all the way to the door, and even when she had left the Three-Star-Neighborhood, she still grinned at the memory of Nonon's priceless expression a second before the cushion had hit her face. But what made the memory complete and utter gold was hearing Satsuki choking on her tea because she hadn't been able to suppress a laugh.


	8. But I Guess It's Alright If It's You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Muffled Nui’s theme playing in the distance with Satsuki’s theme getting louder and drowning the other out in the end

As expected, Mako had scolded Ryuko for acting so reckless when she had just recovered from her accident. Ryuko wasn’t going to ever admit this, but having her protective roommate fussing over her made her feel quite happy because it only meant that someone cared about her. It felt nice to be important to someone. Ryuko knew better than to take Mako’s friendship for granted, but she honestly had no idea how to show her appreciation or even give something in return.

Ryuko felt quite useless when she thought about it. She was that roommate who ate the fridge empty but never went grocery shopping, the kind of person who didn’t replace an empty roll of toilet paper or left her dishes in the sink. She was fine with squeezing the last bits of toothpaste out of an almost empty tube for weeks before she bought a new one. And then she would forget it in her bag and continue squeezing out non-existent toothpaste because she was too lazy to retrieve it.

Living with her wasn’t easy and she knew that, and Mako had to put up with that. She regularly complained and scolded Ryuko for her messy behavior, but still would pick up Ryuko’s dirty clothes and fill the fridge with food again. She cooked and cleaned; the only helpful thing Ryuko did was killing spiders and other insects. If not for this redeeming quality, she was sure that Mako would have thrown her out long ago.

But then again, Mako was probably too kind even for that.

After everything Ryuko put her through, what with getting involved with Nui and the accident, the football player thought about doing something nice for her roommate for a change.

When she had broken into the botanic garden of the gardening club to steal roses for Nui, she had noticed some of Mako’s favorite flowers growing near the red roses, sunflowers. They were so bright yellow that Ryuko had been afraid for a second that someone had turned on the lights upon her trespassing. But after a closer look, she had realized how pretty they were, probably a result of intensive care and fertilizers.

So when she sneaked into the botanic garden again after making sure that it was empty – it was already evening after all – she directly walked to the sunflower section without hesitation, having memorized the path from last time where she had wandered around for about ten minutes between green and greener before she found the roses.

The sunflowers weren’t hard to find, almost glowing in the dim light. Ryuko would probably feel guilty about cutting some off if it weren’t for the obnoxious people that were in the gardening club, who had been grating on her nerves for a while now.

She was reaching out for the third stem when she smelled it. A sickeningly sweet smell, so artificial and overwhelming that even Ryuko’s insensitive nose couldn’t ignore. Just like the person carrying the scent, it demanded to be acknowledged, impossible to avoid.

Her hands started shaking and she tightened her grip on the flowers, hoping to get some strength from them as they reminded her of Mako. She would know how to defuse the situation and get her out of there alive.

"Ah, look," a high-pitched voice drawled behind her, "if it isn’t the traitor who sold me out to my step-sister."

Ryuko could feel something cold running down her spine, causing her to shudder. But she still hadn’t turned around. Maybe this was just her imagination. Maybe Nui wasn’t even there, it was the strong smell of the bio-engineered roses that made Ryuko believe she was because they were her scent.

"Are you afraid," was teasingly whispered into her ear, and she felt fingers threading through her hair, scraping at her scalp. What usually would elicit a content groan from Ryuko now only caused her to shiver in discomfort.

Her desperate attempt to hold on to an illusion was shattered when a cold hand sneaked beneath her shirt and caressed her skin, goosebumps erupting beneath her icy touch.

"Why are you here," Ryuko hoarsely said, finding herself unable to move. She didn’t understand her own inactive body, she should have pushed Nui away by now, but why was she standing there frozen? She abruptly jerked her head when blurry memories began to flood her mind, memories of her angrily storming away from Nui, recklessly driving her car and then…blackness.

The last time she had pushed Nui away, she had almost died. And Ryuko realized that she wasn’t okay, she wasn’t over her accident. Even if her body had recovered quickly, her mind hadn’t, and she hadn’t noticed how much it had gotten to her until now when she was facing the trigger of her accident. All this time, she had been repressing those memories, distracting herself with football and college work, sometimes thinking about her new weird relationships with Nonon and Satsuki. Were they friends now?

After all Satsuki had done for her, from securing her scholarship to taking care of her when she had overexerted herself after football practice, it was only natural for Ryuko to not be able to stop thinking about her. Satsuki didn’t have to do those things despite what she said about being in the student council, but she still did. And somehow, it comforted Ryuko and made her feel safer about her own future at Honnouji University. Now if only Nui wasn’t there, she could get her life back to normal and focus on her studies.

"Why shouldn’t I be here," Nui murmured, almost softly, pulling her fingers out of Ryuko’s hair and letting them glide along her neck, shoulder and arm before she took Ryuko’s hand and intertwined their fingers, holding their hands up to inspect them. She propped her chin on Ryuko’s shoulder from behind, her voice low but light. "Don’t you know that I can’t go home without being watched now? Tell me, Ryuko, why did you have to betray me like that?"

"I…" Ryuko felt her body itching all over. She wanted to move, but couldn’t command her feet to stir. Only her brain seemed to be able to halfway function. "I didn’t betray you."

Nui’s grip on her hand tightened, squeezing her fingers to the point of almost crushing them, but Ryuko was too proud to utter sounds of pain, so she just closed her eyes and endured it.

"How dare you lie to me now."

"I didn’t," Ryuko said through gritted teeth. "I was never on your side, so there was no bond to betray."

Nui let out a shrill laugh close to Ryuko’s ear, which physically pained her.

"I see how it is," Nui sighed once she calmed down, letting go of Ryuko’s hand, but still keeping her front pressed to Ryuko’s back. She whispered against her neck, "Introducing you to Satsuki was a mistake I didn’t reckon with…how could I know that she would play the envious sister and long for the same thing her sibling had?"

"Satsuki has nothing to do with this," Ryuko muttered, feeling her numbness wearing off. She shrugged Nui off and took a few distancing steps away from her, staring at the sunflowers in her hands. Mako would want her to be levelheaded now.

"Why do you keep lying to me?" Nui said with a pout, her eyes catching sight of the flowers in her hand. "So plain and boring, that’s how you like your friends now, don’t you? And you had so much potential, Ryuko, so much potential…but the way you talk now, so disgustingly rational and dull, it smells like Satsuki’s doing."

"I already said she’s got nothing to do with this," Ryuko said, her voice getting louder in aggravation. "Leave her out of this."

But Nui just laughed, high and exaggerated. “My, my, so touchy about her. And you still want me to believe that there isn’t more?”

Ryuko took a deep breath, focusing her eyes on the bright yellow petals of the sunflowers. “As you said, isn’t it your own fault she got involved?”

"Eh?"

Nui faltered, having not expected Ryuko to dismiss her and turn the tables.

"That night," Ryuko quietly began, "when you almost got Sanageyama killed. You shouldn’t have taken me to Satsuki’s apartment. You should have known that there was a chance of me running into her."

"I expected her to stay with the loser at the hospital," Nui tensely said, now no longer sweetly smiling.

"He was put in an artificial coma, there was nothing she could do for him," Ryuko continued, noticing how Nui’s mood had shifted. Now she only had to find out what exactly made the other girl so mad. "So that was the night I met her. Way before you introduced us to each other. Maybe I should thank you for that? Because how else would someone like me be able to get close to her?"

"Shut up," Nui hissed, having shed all pretenses of being innocent and clueless. "Don’t think that everything is about you. Satsuki is only capable of thinking about herself, and everything she does is for herself, so don’t be fooled by her big fancy words. I’ve been a thorn in her side ever since my Mama married her pathetic father. And I wouldn’t put it past her to do anything to get me out of the picture. Including using you."

Ryuko just emptily laughed, which threw off Nui even more. “I’m just an idiot who followed you into your bed. What could she possibly gain from me?”

"I already said it’s not about you," Nui shook her head with a sigh like Ryuko was too stupid to understand the simplest things. "You alone, of course, are absolutely worthless. You only have a value because of me. Because I desire you, Ryuko, do you understand? That’s what makes you so interesting to Satsuki because she can use that against me."

She had started her infamous tactics of manipulation, Ryuko could hear the shift in her voice, when reality turned into fantasy. She wasn’t going to let herself be fooled by that anymore.

"You see, I’m a bit of an idiot," Ryuko lowly said, "so you’ve got to explain to me how Satsuki can use me against you."

And it seemed to have hit the right spot, because Nui wasn’t able to give an immediate answer. And that was how Ryuko knew that the blonde had only been fabricating lies to depict Satsuki in a bad light.

"It’s over, Nui," Ryuko quietly said. Nui’s hard expression didn’t waver. "I can’t be that fool who can’t say no to you forever. You know you’re just going to fuck things up for both of us if you keep doing the shit you do. It’s over."

"It’s not over unless I say so," Nui angrily retorted, the corners of her mouth twitching. She pointed with one hand at the door of the botanical garden. "I’m being watched as soon as I set foot out there, every move of mine will be monitored, thanks to you. Here’s what you’re going to do, you’re going to tell my dear sister that there is no need for this non-sense."

"Why?" Ryuko weakly shrugged her shoulders. "You know I’m a bad liar. I can’t convince her that you won’t fuck up as soon as you’re not being watched anymore."

Her response angered Nui even more, and Ryuko almost expected her to become physically violent judging from her looks. But within a blink of an eye, her nasty expression vanished, replaced by the fake sweet smile she usually wore.

"Well, well," she sighed, crossing her arms behind her back and turning away from Ryuko. "I see I’ve come to a dead end. I’ve truly lost you, Ryuko."

"You never had me," Ryuko muttered. She glanced at the sunflowers in her hands and sent silent thanks to Mako. Despite not being there, she had helped her a lot again.

Whether Nui hadn’t heard her remark or just chosen to ignore her, she didn’t show any reaction as she strutted out of the botanical garden without another word. Ryuko stared after her in disbelief. That was the most harmless meeting she ever had with her. Despite having difficulties speaking up at the beginning, the rest seemed to have gone smoothly.

Quite relieved and happy, Ryuko gathered two more sunflowers and bundled them up, then set to leave the botanical garden. Once she stepped outside, she noticed that it had gotten dark. Her planned short visit had turned into a much longer stay thanks to Nui.

She couldn’t wait to hand the flowers over to Mako, looking for which way to go when she smelled it.

Sweet. Like candy cones. Chemical. Like plastic flowers. Almost toxic. Like Nui was.

Before she could react, a hand was on the back of her head and an arm slung around her neck, keeping her in place when she was being forcibly kissed. Too shocked to react within the seconds it happened, Ryuko’s wide eyes stared at closed ones. And as sudden as it had happened, as sudden it had stopped, with Nui stepping away from her with a sly smile. She took the sunflowers from Ryuko’s slack hands and waved at her before disappearing into the dark.

"Fuck!" Ryuko shouted up at the night sky. What was that kiss for?

* * *

In the end, Ryuko had gone back to get more sunflowers again, and just as she had expected, Mako had been thrilled about them. While she didn’t condone stealing, she turned a blind eye to it since the beautiful flowers were for her. And she felt flattered that Ryuko would take the risk of stealing them for her. But she told her not to do it again.

When Ryuko admitted that she just wanted to do something nice for her for a change, Mako laughed and ruffled her hair, telling her that her friendship was enough. Ryuko wasn’t even aware of the things she was already doing for Mako. For example, her reputation also protected Mako from being bullied as she was still very young and vulnerable looking for a college student. Everyone knew not to mess with Ryuko’s roommate because the football player would find out and beat them up on her best friend’s behalf.

They decided to celebrate their friendship that evening with cheap wine and some leftover pizza, laughing and talking until late into the night, mindlessly chatting about everything that came to mind. Except for the unexpected kiss from Nui which Ryuko decided to keep to herself. She didn’t want Mako to start interpreting things and getting worried again.

* * *

Since their meeting in the botanical garden, Ryuko heard nothing from Nui the past days. Rumors went around that she had resigned from the head cheerleader position so she could dedicate more time to her true passion: sewing clothes. She was seen less and less in classes, allegedly spending many hours of her day locked up in her hobby room with a sewing machine and meters of fabric, furiously producing one piece of clothing after another.

If that was true, then Ryuko was more than happy to accept the fact that Nui had found her true desire which was making clothes.

She herself was busy practicing for a football match that could greatly impact her future. She needed to become the first choice for her coach, every second spent on the bench watching was a second of her talent wasted.

She knew she could do this if nothing got in her way.

* * *

It wasn’t easy getting into the match at first; she wasn’t fast enough, not flexible enough, not reacting quick enough. She was lucky that Tsumugu hadn’t immediately replaced her but given her another chance, and that was when her ambition kicked in and drove her to her fullest potential. Her throws became precise and reached their target most of the time if they managed to catch it. Her own ability in catching the ball didn’t fail her, and she even managed to catch sloppily thrown ones. By the end of the game, the Honnouji Eagles won vastly superior.

One of the popular fraternities had already prepared a party to celebrate the game, regardless of outcome, but a victory was definitely helpful to set the mood for celebration.

Freshly showered and changed into her Honnouji varsity jacket like the rest of her team, Ryuko showed up at the party as she was expected to. Not even two steps into the house and she had already gotten a beer shoved into her hand and a shot glass in the other. She downed them all, fired by the cheers of the students around.

After the initial bombarding of congratulations, Ryuko finally got to be alone when she stepped out on the backyard with a newly opened beer bottle. She automatically searched the place for the familiar sight of pink hair enveloped in smoke clouds, but the place was empty. The party had just begun, no one was drunk enough to lie outside yet.

"Searching for Nonon?"

Ryuko spilled some of her beer when she quickly turned around, already a bit tipsy by the amount of alcohol she had to down within minutes to impress her peers.

"Sa – Kiryuin," Ryuko cleared her throat, raising her beer as a form greeting. Satsuki didn’t react, looking quite cold to Ryuko, who nervously ran a hand through her hair. She thought they were over giving each other these looks. "Where’s Piglet? Gave quite a performance today, thought she might celebrate too."

Only Satsuki’s mouth moved, the rest of her face hard and indifferent. “She does not feel like seeing you.”

Shocked by the unexpected and direct reply, Ryuko stuttered, “What? Why? What did I do this time?”

Satsuki tilted her head and gave Ryuko a scanning look, examining whether her surprise was genuine. “Think, Matoi. You are not as dense as you seem.”

Under any other circumstances, she would have snapped at Satsuki for that remark, but the more pressing matter was finding out what she had done this time to have Nonon avoiding her and Satsuki treating her like…like the past weeks had never happened. She had been already so close to hearing Satsuki laugh because of her, and now she was back to square one with Satsuki treating her coldly.

"Maybe I am," Ryuko said in frustration, "maybe I’m just the idiot you feel sorry for, being so helpless against Nui that you decided to take my side. Or maybe I’m just a fool for believing that we’ve made some progress and are past this whole uncertainty shit, where I never know what you’re thinking and why you’re saying the things you do."

Surprised by the sudden outburst, Satsuki’s expression softened when she realized that Ryuko was genuinely upset about not understanding her. She wanted to interject, but the football player let out a frustrated sound, taking one step away from her.

"You always call me a fool," Ryuko laughed emptily, shrugging carelessly. "Then treat me like one. Treat me like I don’t understand anything, spell everything out to me, explain your thoughts to me word for word. But don’t talk to me like we’re already on the same basis, like I know what I’ve done to you. Come on, Kiryuin, try again, tell me, what am I supposed to know? What have I done this time?"

Satsuki swallowed. The only visible reaction she allowed to show. Her mask unwavering, her eyes bore into Ryuko’s unafraid ones, seeing them stare back challengingly, almost mockingly.

"Alcohol makes you surprisingly eloquent," Satsuki softly remarked, blinking a couple of times, and her cold expression broke. The look she gave Ryuko indicated curiosity and intrigue.

Ryuko shrugged and listlessly sipped on her beer, suddenly not feeling like drinking anymore if she was going to keep rambling in front of Satsuki.

"I write the best essays when I’m drunk," Ryuko mumbled into her bottle.

"Hm."

She looked up in disbelief when she heard an amused grunt, catching Satsuki’s own surprised expression at the unusual sound she had just made. They stared at each other, unblinking and stunned, before Ryuko broke the silence with a boisterous laugh, holding her stomach as she almost wheezed.

"Oh my god," she panted, unable to calm down as another fit of laughter shook her body, "Kiryuin, I want this recorded as my ring tone. Please, this would make my life."

"Don’t be immature, Matoi," Satsuki tried to condescendingly say, but sounded quite amused herself. As she watched Ryuko wiping tears from her eyes, she allowed herself to softly smile. She didn’t think she had ever made anyone laugh that hard. Or maybe Ryuko was just that easy to entertain.

"I’m serious, Gigabrows, really," Ryuko said between chortles, giving Satsuki a mischievous grin. "It would be glorious. Imagine me sitting in a lecture when my phone goes off and four hundred people hear how the gracious Satsuki Kiryuin fucking grunts like a pig. Wait, does that make you a pig in human clothing?"

Satsuki didn’t think she had ever been in a situation where she didn’t know what to say. She opened her mouth, looking as self-assured as ever, but no word came out.

"I don’t believe this," Ryuko snorted with laughter, raising her glass to seemingly no one. "Speechless now too? Today’s not your day, Gigabrows." And she took big gulps from her beer, some drops missing her mouth and trickling down her chin. She didn’t seem to care nor to notice.

But Satsuki’s eyes narrowed at the sloppy sight. Once Ryuko had finished drinking, Satsuki’s right hand shot up and grabbed her chin, tilting up her head.

Flabbergasted, Ryuko didn’t back away when Satsuki closed in on her, unblinkingly staring her in the eyes.

"You of all people should know not to be wasteful," Satsuki murmured, gently squeezing the flesh beneath her fingers, relishing in its softness.

Ryuko’s breathing was shallow as she whispered with false bravado, “Then lick it up if you think so.”

"Oh?" A smirk graced Satsuki’s expression. "Do you want me to teach you a lesson in requesting more than you can handle?"

Ryuko was on the verge of pathetically shouting ‘yes’, but swallowed instead. She closed her eyes to resist the temptation that was Satsuki’s face. “It’s not like you’re going to follow through.”

She would be lying if she said that she didn’t want Satsuki’s tongue on her in this moment, and she admitted that she had fully expected Satsuki to prove her wrong.

But her chin was released and she heard footsteps walking away from her. Her eyes shot open. Satsuki was strutting away from her.

"I knew it," Ryuko bitterly called after her, trying to keep the disappointment out of her voice. "The great Satsuki Kiryuin wouldn’t touch a loser like me."

Satsuki halted, and she turned around, her expression back to cold. And it frustrated Ryuko more than anything to see the other girl changing between hot and cold.

"What is it this time?" Ryuko said in exasperation. "Did I go too far? Even if you were the one who started it?"

"Why must you complicate everything," Satsuki sighed as she pressed two fingers against her temple.

Ryuko grew more confused and irritated by the second.

"Talking about complicated, you’re probably the most frustrating person I’ve ever met," she retorted. "Just say what you think. Otherwise, it’s getting a real pain in the ass to deal with you."

"Matoi," Satsuki firmly said, her expression just as frustrated as Ryuko’s. "I misjudged you."

"You constantly do, everyone does, tell me something new."

"No," Satsuki shook her head, "not like that. You are a better liar than I thought."

"Huh?"

Slowly walking back to Ryuko, Satsuki raised her hand and wiped away the beer drops on Ryuko’s chin with her thumb, then sucked on it. Stunned and mesmerized, Ryuko’s wide eyes soaked up the sight of Satsuki’s hollow cheeks and pursed lips as she licked her thumb clean.

"As disgusting as I remembered it," she murmured, her piercing eyes looking up and boring themselves into Ryuko’s.

"Tell me one thing, Matoi…if I were to kiss you now, would my lips be the last thing you felt before we meet again or would Nui have already replaced me?"

Ryuko could feel her heart sinking. So Satsuki knew.

Nui wasn’t exaggerating that every move of hers was under watch. And suddenly she understood the unexpected kiss, understood the sly smile. Nui had known that this would get back to Satsuki and Nonon somehow. So this was why Nonon was angry, Ryuko could only imagine how that looked. After nearly getting killed, then being protected by them, she still had run back to Nui like she hadn’t learned from her mistakes.

"She fucking surprised me," Ryuko cursed, turning away from Satsuki, suddenly not wanting any of her attention anymore. "You don’t know the fucked up things she said to me before that, I just wanted her to leave me alone forever. I may be an idiot, but I’m not stupid enough to fucking run back to her after all she’s done to me."

"Matoi…"

"And fuck you too for thinking I would be stupid enough to do that," Ryuko angrily continued, not even looking at Satsuki. "I almost died - like I would ever want to be near her ever again. You don’t know what it feels like to smell her disgusting perfume and just know that you’re fucked up. You don’t know what it is like to hear her voice and suddenly see yourself crashing into a truck."

Ryuko suddenly dropped her beer and held her head with her hands, pulling at her hair. “She’s become a fucking nightmare and all you can think about is your own hurt pride before even thinking about mine. I thought you were more than this, Kiryuin.”

"Matoi."

"No, don’t give me any of your shit now," Ryuko loudly said, walking even farther away from Satsuki. "You may be really hot, but you’re not worth it if you’re going to fuck me over too."

"Ryuko!"

She froze, slowly turning her head back to Satsuki, startled by the many emotions on her face. She didn’t think she’d ever seen Satsuki this torn, this overwhelmed and worried.

"I am sorry," Satsuki quietly said after clearing her throat. Her gaze fell. "I did not consider your feelings. For that I am truly sorry."

Ryuko pulled at her hair again to test if she was dreaming up Satsuki apologizing. But the pain was real as much as her words were.

"The information we received was out of context and therefore misinterpreted. We didn’t take your perspective into consideration."

Satsuki’s voice was calm and gentle, soothing for both Ryuko’s ears and heart. The football player was no longer plagued by stress and anger, now taking deep breaths to calm herself down.

"It’s…okay," Ryuko muttered, looking to the ground. "I’ll get over it. Just don’t jump to assumptions anymore, okay?"

Satsuki nodded. She stretched out a hand and offered it to Ryuko. “Accept my apology.”

Ryuko weakly snorted, amused nonetheless. “That’s not how normal people settle things.”

Furrowing her brows, Satsuki slightly tilted her head questioningly, her hand still outstretched.

"Here," Ryuko sighed, taking her hand and then pulling her in for a hug. She could feel Satsuki stiffen in her embrace, probably not used to close physical contact, so she squeezed her even more. "Relax, it’s not like I’m going to snap your spine."

At first clumsily patting Ryuko on the shoulder, Satsuki slowly relaxed and let her hands rest on Ryuko’s back, hesitantly lowering her head and placing it on her shoulder. Then growing bolder, she slightly turned her head and subtly smelled Ryuko’s hair, surprised to find it freshly washed and pleasantly smelling of shampoo.

"Don’t sniff at people’s hair when you hug them, that’s usually considered creepy," Ryuko chuckled, but didn’t let go.

Satsuki hummed in acknowledgment. “And what is the appropriate length of a hug?”

"Depends," Ryuko muttered, feeling herself becoming sleepy in the warm embrace. She could feel Satsuki’s breasts pressing against her and it reminded her of the heavenly soft pillows on Satsuki’s bed. She wondered if she would fall asleep if she laid her head on her well-endowed chest. "Lasts as long as you want to."

Satsuki could hear the sleepiness in Ryuko’s voice. “Is this hug still within appropriate length?”

"Sure," Ryuko drowsily muttered.

"Matoi."

No response.

"Ryuko."

When she got no reaction again, Satsuki pulled away from the embrace, only to quickly catch Ryuko again before the other girl could fall over. The football player had actually fallen asleep while standing. Satsuki mused that her football game must have tired her out.

While holding up Ryuko with one arm, letting her heavy head rest on her shoulder, Satsuki dug out her phone and dialed Ira’s number.

"Satsuki?"

"I’m afraid I need to ask you for a favor," Satsuki calmly said, grimacing when she felt her shoulder getting wet because Ryuko was drooling on her clothing. "And please arrive as fast as you can."

"Sure," Ira said without hesitating, "what can I do for you?"

Satsuki paused and glanced at Ryuko, who was muttering incoherently in her sleep, letting out words as ‘strong eyebrow game’ and ‘boob pillows’.

"Nothing you haven’t done before."


	9. Because You Are The Only One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Almost there

 

Soft pillows, a soft mattress and a soft blanket. Ryuko woke up with a start when she realized that this was no way her own bed. In fact, this bed had quite the familiar feel and scent to it, and her shocked yell got stuck in her throat when she noticed Satsuki lying next to her, staring back at her with alert eyes.

“What? No,” Ryuko groaned, glancing at Satsuki in disbelief before she lifted the blanket and looked down. She was still in her underwear, but this wasn't necessarily a good sign. “No, no, no...”

“Matoi, now you are offending me,” Satsuki decided to speak up, calmly lying on her side as she watched Ryuko freaking out. “You should consider yourself honored if you ever get the chance to wake up in my bed.”

“That's,” Ryuko growled, stopping her frantic motions for a second, “that's totally not the reaction I need from you right now.”

She noticed that they had separate blankets. And after glancing around, she saw her clothes neatly folded on a chair. She allowed herself to relax but didn't lie back down. “Did I do what I think I did?”

Satsuki furrowed her brows. “I am no mind reader. Why are you asking me?”

“Jesus, Gigabrows,” Ryuko sighed, “work with me here. I've already hit rock bottom because of you, at least spare me the rest of my dignity.”

“Well, then,” Satsuki thoughtfully said, “assuming that you most likely refer to your impressive habit of instantly falling asleep at random locations, I would answer with yes. Yes, you did what you think you did. And no, we didn't do what you initially thought we did.”

Ryuko snorted in amusement. Only Satsuki would come up with a reply like that.

“That's fantastic news,” she meant to say it mockingly, but couldn't help containing her smile. Her frustration and embarrassment over her current situation faded, and she leaned back against the headboard of the bed. She had only given herself stress by assuming the worst, but she should have known that Satsuki would act responsibly in any situation.

Looking a bit confused but still content that this was what had calmed Ryuko down in the end, Satsuki rolled on her back and pulled her arms out from beneath the blanket, letting them rest on her sides.

“Matoi.”

Ryuko was already drowsy again after the initial shock had worn off. She slowly slid back into a lying position. “Hm?”

“I'm afraid we have to talk about yesterday.”

“No.”

Satsuki turned her head and was about to argue with Ryuko when she noticed her closed eyes.

“Are you falling asleep again?” she flatly asked.

“No,” Ryuko mumbled, half-asleep.

Satsuki narrowed her eyes. “You are lying.”

“No.” It was barely above a whisper.

“Matoi.”

“No.”

“Why do you insist on being an obstinate fool, Matoi?” Satsuki sighed to herself. She didn't expect a reply nor did she wait for one, throwing her blanket off her and getting out of her bed, of which one half was occupied by Ryuko. She was going through her wardrobe when she heard Ryuko muttering in her sleep.

“But you wouldn't like me any other way, Satsuki...”

* * *

 

Satsuki entered the kitchen and found Nonon already sitting by the table with a coffee mug between her hands.

“Good morning,” she mildly greeted, opening the fridge to get some milk. Unlike her roommate, she was no friend of coffee and didn't quite understand its popularity despite the bitter taste.

“Morning,” Nonon mumbled into her mug. “Slept well?”

“Surprisingly undisturbed,” Satsuki absently said as she poured herself a glass of milk.

Nonon snorted in disbelief. “You don't have to be sensitive about that airhead's feelings.”

“Well, for one, I see no wrong in being considerate of someone else's feelings, regardless of their own intellectual level,” Satsuki replied, and joined her friend at the table. “But I am not glossing over Matoi's sleeping habits. She may not be the quietest sleeper, but it is somehow less of a bother than initially assumed.”

“That's...great,” Nonon weakly offered, unsure on how to react to the topic Ryuko if she couldn't insult her. “So her gross snoring didn't creep you out?”

“As I said, the noises she emitted were far from bothersome.”

Ryuko being far from bothersome didn't sound quite right to Nonon, but it was still too early for her to start arguing against Satsuki. She wouldn't win anyway.

“I don't know why you didn't just dump her out on the couch,” Nonon muttered, tiredly rubbing at her eyes. “If you keep spoiling her, she's going to ask for more. One day she'll just start living here.” She frowned. “Pets aren't even allowed here.”

Satsuki shook her head with a small, amused smile. “I distinctly remember you complaining about this rule because you wanted a cat.”

“Right, right, you had to turn this one against me,” Nonon sighed, carefully sipping on her hot coffee before she set the mug down. She cleared her throat and lowered her voice, suddenly sounding wide awake and serious. “Satsuki, I can't help but ask...do you know what you're doing?”

Satsuki furrowed her eyebrows in light confusion, looking down on the table. “I am enjoying a glass of milk?”

“Okay, no.” Nonon massaged her forehead with her fingers, shaking her head with her eyes closed. “Context, Satsuki, please read the context.”

“Well, I don't understand why there is this general assumption that I can read minds and link your questions to the right context,” Satsuki replied, somewhat impatient as her fingers tapped against her glass.

Leaning back as a defensive reaction, Nonon wanted to ask what made Satsuki think that everyone assumed this of her but paused when a thought struck her.

“Was Matoi awake when you got up?”

Satsuki distractedly traced the rim of her glass with a finger, a wrinkle forming between her eyebrows for one second before she nodded with a calm expression.

“I knew it,” Nonon sighed, her shoulders relaxing. “That idiot said something stupid to piss you off, right?”

“You are quite quick to blame Matoi in a lot of situations,” Satsuki merely remarked, giving her friend a scanning look.

“I – I, yeah, I mean it's Ryuko we're talking about,” Nonon stuttered, not prepared for the comment. She had expected Satsuki to affirm her assumption, and then she would have been ready to add more unflattering views on Ryuko's personality.

One corner of Satsuki's mouth curved up in a knowing smirk. “So it's suddenly Ryuko we're talking about. I thought we were still going with Matoi?”

“What?” Nonon's wide eyes stared at Satsuki in disbelief. “That's what you choose to focus on?”

“Oh, Nonon, don't underestimate the little things,” Satsuki chuckled, raising one eyebrow at her. “Especially considering that you yourself fall under that category.”

“I give up.”

Nonon stood up and took her mug with her as she headed for the living room. She could hear Satsuki still chuckling into her glass, and she left the kitchen with a smile. She didn't think she'd ever witnessed her friend in such a good mood during a morning. If Satsuki felt comfortable enough to tease her, then it meant that her mind had taken a rare break from working non-stop and that her heart was at ease.

Maybe it wasn't their worst idea to get a new pet. But that didn't mean that Nonon wasn't going to complain every second which Ryuko would spend with them.

* * *

 

Ryuko woke up to the jarring sound of her cellphone ringtone and she blindly patted beneath her pillow out of habit. If her fingertips weren't so roughened up from playing football, she would have felt the difference between the fine fabric of the mattress cover she was currently lying on and the one her mattress in her dorm room had.

“Shut up,” she groaned, and buried her face into her pillow. It took ten seconds until her insensitive nose registered a familiar scent that didn't belong to her.

“I'm still dreaming,” she muttered to herself without moving, her cellphone still ringing in the background. She sniffed at the pillow again, not trusting her impaired sense of smell, but the scent got only stronger and unmistakably identifiable. A warm feeling spread from inside her body as the heavenly smell induced fuzzy memories; the blurry pictures inside her mind showed her hugging Satsuki and falling asleep in her arms.

Ryuko dazedly smiled. What a stupid dream. 

When the ringing stopped, Ryuko sighed in contentment and turned on the side to keep sleeping. If Mako hadn't woken her up yet, then it couldn't be that late.

She was close to dozing off again when a wet washcloth fell on her face and cold water stung her skin.

“Fuck!” she loudly cursed, immediately grabbing the washcloth off her face and sitting up. After blinking several times to get her eyes to focus, she wasn't all that surprised to see Nonon smirking back at her, standing with her arms crossed in front of the bed. Ryuko flung the washcloth at Nonon with all her might but missed her because the other girl had been prepared and had ducked in time.

“Before you embarrass yourself further,” Nonon said gleefully, “take a second to pause and realize in what kind of position you are.”

“What the fuck is this sup...posed...to...,” Ryuko trailed off mid-sentence, her eyes widening when they took in the sight of her surroundings. It hadn't been a dream. “Not this shit again.”

Muttering curses non-stop beneath her breath, she threw the bedcover off her and rolled off the bed, instinctively knowing where she would find her clothes neatly folded. A sense of deja vu overwhelmed her and she paused her movements, holding her forehead with a stressed look.

“Too much for your pea brain, eh?” Nonon teasingly said, and she didn't flinch at the glare and middle-finger she was given.

“I don't get it,” Ryuko muttered, taking her pants and wiggling her way into them, “I already woke up once this morning, I knew where I was. Why did I forget that?”

“You slept too long, shithead,” Nonon said, not bothered to turn away when Ryuko changed into her clothes. “After being half-dead for over twelve hours, it's no wonder you'll feel like half-dead once you wake up.”

“Ugh,” Ryuko groaned. She slipped into her white t-shirt, then ran a hand through her messy hair in a vain attempt to tame it. “Maybe if _someone_ woke me up the normal way, I wouldn't feel like shit right now. If a day starts out with seeing your face first thing in the morning, then of course it can only be shitty.”

“You fucking -,” Nonon growled, aiming a punch at Ryuko's shoulder.

Despite her quick reflexes which she had acquired through rigorous football practices, she was still dizzy from being abruptly woken up after twelve hours of sleep, so Ryuko didn't manage to stand firmly on her feet after dodging the hit. She stumbled and fell forward, taking Nonon down with her.

“Uff.”

“Get. Off. Me.”

Nonon could barely breathe with the heavy weight on top of her. “I swear, I'm beginning to think you're doing this on purpose.”

“Don't you think I'd be much smoother than this,” Ryuko muttered, tiredly pushing herself up. She noticed Nonon lying beneath her and smirked. “This somehow feels familiar.”

She instantly regretted her words when Nonon slapped her face and kneed her in the gut. Falling to the floor, Ryuko held her stomach and wheezed in pain. “Why is this feeling familiar too,” she said through gritted teeth.

“You mention this again and I will shut you up permanently,” Nonon growled, quickly getting up.

“Calm down,” Ryuko panted, slowly sitting up and rubbing her cheek. “Why are you even ashamed about something that didn't even happen?”

“Because alone the thought disgusts me,” Nonon shuddered, “to think I would let someone like you get near me.”

Ryuko just shrugged.

“Well, if Kiryuin can, why can't you?”

When she stood up, she saw Nonon's conflicted grimace, which only made her let out a short laugh. “Oh, I see how it is.”

Nonon gave her a wary glance.

“You've got the hots for both of us and can't decide of whom to be more jealous.”

“Want me to punch you again?!”

Just as a precaution, Ryuko took a step back, but didn't stop teasing the other girl. “Don't bully the ones you like, Piglet, that's so elementary school.”

“Shut up,” Nonon hissed and turned away, heading for the door.

“Okay, now you're just being a coward,” Ryuko called after her with a smug look. “Does Kiryuin know that she's got a secret admirer who's a little coward?”

Nonon flipped her off and left the room.

“And rude too,” Ryuko added. She grinned and picked up her cellphone from the desk, then decided to leave the room as well. But as soon as she stepped out on the hallway, her grin faded. She just realized that she would have to face Satsuki again.

Ryuko wasn't by far gutless or easily intimidated, but there was something about the thought of facing Satsuki after recent events deeply unsettling her. She remembered dozing off this morning when Satsuki had said in a serious tone that they needed to talk about yesterday evening. But Ryuko didn't like talking. She wasn't a great talker, she would reveal things she didn't mean to share as soon as her emotions got the better of her. And once she started, she couldn't stop either, so immersed in her own world where she was the tragic protagonist who had to let out all her feelings through a long and moving monologue.

She wasn't a master of words, she said what she felt and thought with no filter in between. She wouldn't even have the time to formulate them into something less vulgar in her head. She wondered if Satsuki's thoughts were as formal as her spoken language.

Taking a deep breath, she knew there was no way out of this. As she wondered where she might find Satsuki, her stomach suddenly rumbled and reminded her that she hadn't eaten for over fourteen hours. She rearranged her priorities and headed for the kitchen instead.

As Ryuko rummaged in the fridge, disgruntled by the fact that there were mostly vegetables, fruits and other healthy looking foods, she almost gave up when she found a lemon yogurt. It would have to do.

Just as she closed the fridge and turned around, she spotted Satsuki standing by the door. She held the yogurt closer to her chest.

“Please don't tell me I can't have it, it's the only edible thing you have in your fridge.”

Satsuki frowned and walked over to her, telling her to move aside with a hand gesture. She opened the fridge and glanced at the great variation of food stacked inside there, then stared at Ryuko in confusion.

Ryuko shrugged. “As I said, nothing really edible in your fridge.”

Satsuki exhaled loudly once she understood what Ryuko implied and closed the fridge again, crossing her arms.

“As an athlete yourself, I expected you to be more careful about your nutrition. But I don't know why I keep setting expectations for you, Matoi.”

“Yeah, no use in setting expectations if I keep surpassing them anyway, ” Ryuko said with a grin. She glanced at the yogurt in her hands. “So can I eat it?”

“Well, _can_ you?” Satsuki merely replied, opening a drawer to take out a spoon.

Ryuko rolled her eyes, but accepted the spoon with a thankful nod anyway. “You didn't have to say that. Now I've gotta think of you as an old, rigid teacher and I really don't need that right now.”

“Hm?” Satsuki hummed in interest, leaning back against the kitchen counter as she watched Ryuko opening the yogurt can. “And what is it that you need instead?”

“I don't know,” Ryuko distractedly mumbled with the spoon in her mouth, focused on opening the yogurt without spilling its content. “Maybe a version where you're a young and hot teacher?”

“Don't talk to me with your mouth full, Matoi,” Satsuki immediately replied before she paused. “I'm sorry I didn't get the last sentence?”

Ryuko almost choked on her spoon and quickly took it out. “Ah, it's nothing important,” she coughed out. “You know I talk shit most of the time.”

“Well,” Satsuki carefully began, “arguing against this would be the polite thing to do, but I believe you deserve my honest opinion.”

“Er, thanks?” Ryuko offered with furrowing brows, then dug her spoon into her yogurt. “I would say that it's nice that we've reached a point where we can be honest with each other, but you were blunt before, so...”

“Excuse me?” Satsuki tilted her head. “To hear this from someone who talks with no filter between her brain and mouth somehow lessens the impact.”

“Geez, Kiryuin,” Ryuko laughed. “You're making my yogurt taste sour.” She shoved a spoonful into her mouth. “Oh, wait, it already is. I forgot it's lemon. And low fat.” She added with a grimace. “Kiryuin, you're living life wrong.”

“This is something I don't want to hear from you either, Matoi,” Satsuki drily said, her eyes following Ryuko's spoon.

Ryuko wondered why the other girl didn't just leave the kitchen if she acted like she didn't appreciate Ryuko's presence, but Satsuki didn't seem to be in a rush to leave. It was like she intended to stay as long as it took Ryuko to eat her yogurt, and Ryuko's heart dropped.

Satsuki wanted to talk. About things she wasn't ready for.

Swallowing her yogurt suddenly became difficult. She cleared her throat.

“Uhm, again, thanks for letting me stay over and thanks for the yogurt, I owe you,” Ryuko said, getting more nervous with each word. “I think I better leave now, don't want to impose any longer, you know.”

Satsuki seemed to sense the true intention behind her wish to quickly leave, and she raised one eyebrow, taking a step closer to Ryuko.

Holding her breath, Ryuko wanted to back away but froze when Satsuki reached out one hand and held her chin, tilting her head up.

“Why is it that whenever I watch you drink or eat, you soil yourself? Hm?”

Ryuko breathed out a shaky laugh. “Because I'm a pig. In human clothing. Happy now?”

Satsuki narrowed her eyes and stepped even closer. “Disgusting,” she muttered, her gaze falling on the yogurt speck on Ryuko's chin. “Disgraceful.”

“Alright, I got i-”

Ryuko's heart stopped when Satsuki leaned in and slowly licked away the yogurt stain, then released her chin with a satisfied look. “Tastes better than I remember.”

Almost dropping her yogurt in shock, Ryuko quickly shook her head to clear her mind again, and whisper-yelled, “What the fuck? You do this now when I least expect it? But not when I wan-” She bit down hard on her tongue, and groaned both in pain and embarrassment. “Ow,” she whimpered, sticking out her bleeding tongue. Her eyes widened when she caught Satsuki's gaze and she turned away. “No, you're not licking that one too!”

Somewhat bewildered and concerned, Satsuki asked, “Are you feeling well, Matoi?”

“That's what I want to ask you, Kiryuin,” Ryuko hissed. “I just can't make sense of your actions – one second you give me the cold shoulder, the next you're all over me. You know I don't have any patience to deal with this bullshit.”

Stunned, Satsuki took one step back, and Ryuko immediately regretted her outburst. It wasn't like she didn't like Satsuki's attention, she was just tired of not knowing when she was going to receive them between indifferent reactions. Before they had gotten closer, Ryuko always had the feeling of being barely acknowledged by her. And now she didn't know what to make of Satsuki's sudden interest.

“Look,” Ryuko sighed, putting aside her half-eaten yogurt. “I'm sorry. Being sensible is not my thing. I didn't mean to snap at you, but the things you're doing – it's making me crazy and you don't even know.”

“Then tell me,” Satsuki quietly said. Her eyes were soft around the edges as she gazed expectantly at Ryuko.

Ryuko scratched her neck and faced away, hoping not to embarrass herself further. “I...I guess you already know that I kinda...uh, not hate you. Maybe even tolerate you. Ah, fuck, this is embarrassing...” She cursed and massaged her forehead with her fingers. “Why are you making me do this, you already know what I think about you, don't you? I pretty much told you yesterday when I was a bit drunk.”

Satsuki hummed and pretended to think about it, but then shook her head. “I'm afraid I can't remember.”

Ryuko narrowed her eyes at her. Satsuki obviously remembered but wanted her to say it again. “See, you think you can get away with this just because you're hot.” Ryuko paused. “Aw fuck.”

“Well, flattering my outer appearance is certainly pleasant, but not what I wish to hear,” Satsuki casually said, not abashed about being complimented. “I expected you to be more honest, Matoi.”

Ryuko felt her right eyebrow twitch. Here she was, trying her best to somehow convey her feelings to Satsuki by starting out slow, but apparently, she was too slow for Satsuki.

“Kiryuin, you're as bad at being sensitive as I am, you know. Can't you read the mood, I'm trying to tell you something important without dying from embarrassment, okay? Now be quiet and let me try again.”

Satsuki lowly chuckled. “My apologies. Please continue.”

“Alright,” Ryuko cleared her throat, closing her eyes. Her facial features were twisted in a grimace that Satsuki almost believed it gave her physical pain to say the next words. “You're hot. And I know I am. So we match. No, no, let's try again, this sounded like I only care about your looks, chrm, here we go...”

With a hand pressed to her mouth to suppress a chuckle, Satsuki watched Ryuko in amusement as she stumbled over her words and fidgeted with her hands, all the while keeping her eyes tightly shut and expression scrunched up in a frown.

“Kiryuin...no, Satsuki...”

Satsuki lowered her hand, her eyes subtly widening. She didn't understand why being called by her first name made her feel this warm inside her chest.

“Satsuki, you're like the most frustrating, complicated and unpredictable person I've ever met,” Ryuko rambled, “and I admit I dreamed about shaving off your eyebrows once or twice 'cause I lost count of how many times you made me look like a fool. Also, your friends suck, and sometimes your attitude too, and you never -”

“Is this going somewhere?” Satsuki drily interjected. This was the strangest confession she had ever received. Not that she had received many since few had been brave enough to do so.

“See, impatient too,” Ryuko added with a smirk, opening her eyes. But her smirk turned into a sheepish smile. “But I guess this is why you got me hooked." 

Looking to the side and bashfully scratching her neck, she continued in a lower voice, "Maybe I need someone to challenge me, someone who doesn't put up with my shit, who straight up tells me I'm an idiot for doing the stupid things I do. Yeah, you're frustrating, but only because I still have a long way to go to understand you.”

Satsuki put a hand on her chest, concerned with the way her heartbeat had suddenly sped up. She didn't think her heart had ever reacted this way to mere words.

“Ryuko...”

“Okay, now comes the hardest part,” Ryuko muttered, taking a deep breath. She was going to do it. She was going to ask Satsuki out because if not now, she wasn't sure if she'd ever get brave enough to do it again. Her nerves were at their limits, she had said too much already instead of coming straight to the point. This was why she hated talking, she was incapable of keeping things short, instead revealing too much of her private thoughts.

“Would you...would you go out...”

Satsuki tilted her head in anticipation, thoroughly enjoying the sight of a flushed Ryuko stuttering out words with a grimace.

“...on a date with m-”

“Satsuki!”

Nonon ran into the kitchen and pointed to the window, urgently saying, “Did you know that Harime was going to move out today? I just saw – wait a minute, what's going on here?”

Ryuko gaped at Nonon in disbelief while Satsuki closed her eyes in disappointment and sighed.

Nonon slowly looked between them two before she warily asked, “What are you two doing?”

Ryuko snapped. Fuming with anger and disbelief, she yelled, “Goddamnit Nonon, can't you fucking see that I'm trying to ask Satsuki out on a date here? Couldn't you even wait one damn second longer to fucking barge in?”

Taken aback at the sudden outburst, Nonon defensively held up her hands and stepped backward out of the kitchen. “Whoa, and you want to date this mentally unstable person, Satsuki?”

“This mentally unstable person is still in the fucking room, you know,” Ryuko growled, but gazed at Satsuki out of the corner of her eyes, anxious about her reaction.

Satsuki calmly said to Nonon, “This is a decision completely in my hands, Nonon. Now if you could give us some privacy...”

“Ugh, sure,” Nonon said with a shrug, leaving the kitchen while shaking her head.

Satsuki turned her attention back on Ryuko with a small smile. “Please finish what you wanted to ask.”

“I...I...” Ryuko could feel her cheeks heating up with a blush. Now that Nonon had interrupted them, she was painfully aware of what she had been trying to do, and it almost killed her to have to say it again. “I'm sorry, can I get a minute of fresh air to clear my head, maybe dig a hole for me to die in it? I'm kinda feeling sick right now.”

Her flushed face and pained expression seemed to support her words, and Satsuki was genuinely worried that Ryuko didn't feel well. She raised her hand to feel Ryuko's forehead, but Ryuko flinched. Satsuki masked the hurt she felt at the reaction and lowered her hand. “Do you want my company outside?”

“No!” Ryuko hastily replied, maybe a bit too forcefully as it only served to deepen the frown on Satsuki's face. “Ah shit, I didn't mean that. Look, I'm fine, I'm just...an idiot, so I'll just leave now.”

“Matoi...”

Ryuko cursed herself to hell and back for being such a coward as she stormed out of Satsuki's villa. She felt like she was unable to ever show her face in front of Satsuki again. Why was it even that hard to ask her out? She had never felt that nervous before, but then again, Satsuki was in a whole different league and made everyone nervous with just her presence alone.

Ryuko pulled at her hair and muttered insults to herself. If it weren't for Nonon barging in, it would be over already, and Ryuko would have an answer. She faltered.

What if Nonon had actually saved her from a rejection? What made Ryuko think that Satsuki actually liked her back? That girl was even more awkward in the romance department than Ryuko, she didn't even know how to properly hug until yesterday.

So occupied with her own thoughts, she wasn't looking where she was going, and she tripped over a moving box. She managed to catch herself and looked up with an angry look. Who would put a moving box in the middle of the driveway?

“Oh.”

A large moving van stood in the driveway that was littered with moving boxes. Several large men were carrying them into the van.

“That box has my most precious designs in it,” a shrill voice from inside the neighboring villa carried out, “you lose the box, you lose your job.”

Ryuko froze, a wave of fear washing over her as it numbed her mind and made her forget how to breathe. She needed to leave. Now. But she couldn't move, the memory of a truck crashing into her flashed before her eyes, the sound of ambulance horns rang in her ears and made her deaf to the real world.

“My, my.” Ryuko blinked and suddenly saw Nui standing in front of her with a sweet smile. “Look who came to say goodbye.”

 


	10. Who I Truly Love

“Nui...”

It was like waking up in the hospital all over again. She felt disoriented, numb and weak. She couldn't move, couldn't speak, couldn't even begin to comprehend her situation. The world around her slowed down as she saw her own terrified reflection in Nui's eyes.

“I don't remember you being the speechless type, Ryuko,” Nui cackled. “No matter how overwhelmed you were by your feelings, you always had something to say.”

She took a step closer to Ryuko, to which the latter one reacted by hastily stumbling backwards.

“You...” Ryuko shakily breathed out, holding her elbows defensively.

Baring all of her teeth in a broad smile, Nui curiously watched Ryuko's facial features twisting in fear and loathing.

“I know it must come as a shock to you that I'm suddenly moving out, but I no longer care enough to stay in this boring place where my talent goes unrecognized,” she said with an exaggerated sigh. “And I've honestly considered telling you, but then I thought – Ryuko probably doesn't care.” She suddenly stretched out one hand and cupped Ryuko's cheek with it. “In fact, I'm quite certain that she would be very happy about it. Am I right?”

Ryuko slapped her hand away, taking another step backwards.

“For once in your life you are,” she growled, regaining some control of her body and mind again.

“Ryuko, words can be hurtful, you know,” Nui faked a hurt look before she sighed and shrugged her shoulders. “But I can't say I didn't expect this. I knew from the start that we would never work out, I just didn't think it would end this way. How cruel of Satsuki to be stealing her little sister's toy -”

“Step-sister,” Ryuko snapped.

Taken aback by the forceful interruption, Nui blankly stared at Ryuko, who angrily glared back.

“She's your step-sister, nothing more. Don't mess that up.”

“Who even cares about tha-

“I fucking do.” Ryuko's voice became clearer and louder. “Because you two are nothing alike, so don't call her your sister. You don't deserve to be related to her.”

Nui didn't like where this conversation was heading, she could tell that Ryuko was slowly gaining the upper hand if she wasn't stopped soon. She wanted to interject with something spiteful, but Ryuko just raised her voice when she saw Nui opening her mouth.

“You already fucked me over way too many times,” Ryuko said, pointing a trembling finger at Nui. “I'm not giving you that satisfaction today. Nothing good ever came out of being around you before, but after that fucking accident, you – you...” Ryuko's voice cracked. “I can't even think straight because I'm so fucking scared that you're going to pull some crazy shit any minute that will end up with me dying.”

Ryuko buried her hands in her hair, facing the ground with a pained look. “I'm scared of myself for thinking this way, for thinking you're going to kill me, and sometimes my mind fucks me up with thoughts of getting rid of you first.” Her grip on her hair loosened. “But when – when I'm around Satsuki, I'm not scared anymore. When she's around, you don't get to hurt me anymore, you don't even exist for me in those moments...and that's when I feel the safest.”

Ryuko let her hands fall to her sides as she looked up at Nui with a piercing look. “So don't you fucking dare to sound like you're related to Satsuki when you're not the least bit like her.”

Nui had shed all pretenses of being pleasant by now. Her facial features were twisted in an ugly, hateful grimace when she scornfully snorted.

“Very touching story, I'm moved to tears,” she said in a monotonous voice. “Whatever illusions you have of Satsuki, allow me to destroy them.”

Nui gestured to the moving van and her former villa. “Moving out and studying design abroad has been my dream all along, and yet I've been forced to stay here and get a 'serious' degree. But then, a few days ago, I received a surprising call from home – I was given the green light to transfer.”

Nui's laugh that followed was as hollow as the look in her eyes. “Now, Ryuko, I'm sure I don't have to tell you the reason why my parents changed their mind about my education. You and I both know very well who instigated this.”

Ryuko's eyes widened. Did Satsuki go as far as talk to her parents so that Nui would truly never be able to cause Ryuko any harm anymore?

“So?” Ryuko muttered. “She did it for you, didn't she, you finally got your wish.”

“Wrong,” Nui spat. “I wouldn't even be here if it weren't for her – she was the one who told my mother it would be best if I finished a degree at Honnouji first, she was the one who locked me up in this cage in the first place. And now that I've gotten in her way, she decided to set me free. Do you see now, Ryuko, she didn't do it for me, she did it for herself and that's the kind of selfish person she is!”

“No,” Ryuko retorted, forcefully shaking her head, and her disagreement further angered the blonde.

“No? You still refuse to believe?” Nui let out an empty laugh. “It's all Satsuki's fault that I've been stuck here, that I had nothing going on for me here. Giving me the head cheerleader position was only a consolation prize, so I would have something to do, something that would keep me out of trouble – but you know that didn't work, don't you?”

Nui stepped closer to Ryuko again, but not close enough for her to feel threatened. Still, Ryuko's eyes were nervously fixated on Nui's hands in case they tried to touch her again.

“I had to pass my time _somehow_ or I would've died out of boredom, and that's where you enter the picture, Ryuko. I chose to obsess over you because I couldn't do so over my true passion. You were merely a stand-in. A replacement. Nothing more than a temporary hobby.”

And it stung. Ryuko had been certain that there was nothing Nui could say to hurt her anymore, but she was wrong. A replacement? A temporary hobby to be tossed aside as soon as Nui felt like getting rid of her?

Ryuko had pride, and a lot of that. But it had taken great damage at those words, along with her sense of self-worth. Her longest relationship, as twisted as it was, only existed because she had been foolish enough to play along in a game she had never signed up for.

Her emotional turmoil was openly displayed on her face, and Nui reveled in it because she knew she had regained control with a few manipulative sentences.

“Do you see now, Ryuko, do you understand now?” she cloyingly said. “If you want someone to blame, it's Satsuki. She only gives you this much attention because she feels guilty about what happened with us. She knows it's her fault that you became my hobby, and she had to do _something_ to ease her conscience. But as soon as I'm gone, she will be too. Or did you honestly think she would be interested in you?”

When Ryuko didn't reply, Nui smirked and added, “That's what I thought. You couldn't even tell when I faked interest in you.”

“That's enough, Nui.”

Ryuko flinched when someone suddenly spoke up behind her, and she quickly turned around, instinctively taking a step back when she saw Satsuki's face.

“Satsuki...”

She didn't think she had ever seen her this angry before. It wasn't the kind of anger where her facial features were distorted in uncontrollable rage, but the kind where only her blazing eyes screamed of fury while the rest of her expression was cold and stoic.

Nui pretended to be unfazed by Satsuki's presence, but even she couldn't hide her uneasiness after seeing the look on her face. She seemed to realize that she might have gone a step too far.

“I take it that you didn't come to say goodbye,” Nui said in an overly polite tone, testing how much Satsuki had heard and since when she had been there. She hadn't noticed her at all.

“Actually, I did,” Satsuki replied, her voice cool and calm. But she was still staring Nui down with a look of absolute disgust. “I wanted to make sure you leave without causing any more complications.”

Nui challengingly stared back at her and looked like she wanted to retort, but one of the men of the moving company called out her name and told her they were done with loading all her belongings into the van.

“Well, it certainly wasn't pleasant here, so I'll spare you the promise of coming back to visit,” Nui said with a shrug. She turned to Ryuko with one last malicious look. “Don't forget what I said. You'll see, I always speak the truth.”

And with a mocking laugh, she strutted away, gesturing to the men that she was ready to go. They got into their van while Nui entered her car, and with her driving ahead, the driveway cleared out and suddenly became a lot larger with the sudden empty space.

Nui's departure didn't feel real to Ryuko. Her body didn't relax after seeing her drive away, her mind couldn't calm down. She was still as tense as before, almost anticipating the moment Satsuki would tell her that Nui was going to be back by tomorrow.

“Ryuko.”

Ryuko's head twitched and she stared at Satsuki with wide eyes, wondering if she was an illusion too, if the warm and concerned look in her eyes was something she was just imagining.

“Satsuki?” she weakly muttered.

“She will never cause you trouble again,” Satsuki softly said like she knew what was causing Ryuko to be so on edge. “She is gone for good.”

Ryuko didn't blink when she kept staring at her. “What about you?”

“What about me?”

Ryuko turned her head to the side. She hated feeling this insecure just because of something Nui had obviously said to unsettle her, but she couldn't help being affected by it anyway. “Now that she's gone, there's no need for you to stick around anymore.” She buried her hands into her jeans pockets. “We could just go back to our old lives.”

“I'm afraid I don't understand,” Satsuki quietly said.

Ryuko shrugged. “I'm just saying it's better for you to stop hanging out with me. You know I don't have the best reputation around and people are gonna talk -”

“You truly are the worst liar I have ever met,” Satsuki suddenly stated like she had been waiting to say this for a while. She crossed her arms and sternly gazed at Ryuko without blinking. “I keep telling you that you are not made to lie, Ryuko, yet you still try to deceive me. Do you think I will not call you out on your lies?”

When Ryuko stared up at those eyes known for their indifferent and guarded look, she was met with a new set of emotions she had never gotten to see in them before. And she realized what she hadn't considered at all.

Her attempts to distance herself from Satsuki by changing her attitude and becoming cold toward her actually hurt Satsuki.

And when Ryuko finally understood that the only enemy left standing in their way was herself, she let out a shaky breath with a smile and all the tension in her body was gone. “No, I was waiting for that.”

“You were?”

Satsuki was rarely baffled by people's reactions, but Ryuko's unpredictable change in behavior proved to be too much for her to comprehend. Unsure over what to do, she uncrossed her arms before she crossed them again, her fingers tapping on her elbows.

“Yeah,” Ryuko breathed out with a laugh, suddenly feeling a lot lighter and warmer than before. “I guess I needed someone to call me out on my bullshit before I got far with it. It's not like I'm doing it on purpose, I sometimes find myself riding the bullshit train and I can't get off, and that's when I need you to kick me off it.”

Understanding dawned on Satsuki's face and she softly smiled. Uncrossing her arms, she replied with a nod, “Then I am glad I managed to metaphorically get you off that train.”

Ryuko ran a hand through her messy hair and grinned.

She felt a lot better than she had in a while. She hadn't even noticed that the whole Nui thing had been lasting heavily on her mind for the past few weeks, constantly weighing her down. But now that the weight had been lifted off her shoulders, she realized how much emotional distress she had been subconsciously feeling all the time. She felt like she could freely breathe again.

Her mood completely turned around; gone was the feeling of helplessness, replaced by a new surge of confidence.

Ryuko stared at Satsuki in determination. “I should thank you for what you've done for me.” She paused when she received a surprised look. “Don't look at me like that, I do have manners.”

Satsuki brought a hand to her mouth to hide her amused smile. “I never doubted it.”

“Okay, now you're the one bad at lying,” Ryuko said with a laugh. She didn't know why, but everything Satsuki said made her smile now. “You totally thought I was a brute at least once in all the time we've known each other.”

But Satsuki shook her head, replying in a genuine tone, “I may have often implied in my words that you are, but I never truly thought so. It was inappropriate of me to repeatedly call you a pig in human clothing in the past, but I honestly have never believed you were related to the Sus scrofa domesticus.”

Ryuko blankly stared at Satsuki.

“Domesticated pigs,” Satsuki elaborated. She paused when she noticed Ryuko's raised eyebrow. “I shouldn't have assumed that this is a commonly known term, I see that now.”

“Talk about complicated, Satsuki,” Ryuko sighed, shaking her head before she cracked a smile. “But I guess I wouldn't want it any other way.”

“And what is it that you want?” Satsuki boldly asked, carefully watching Ryuko's reaction.

She had expected more impact at her straightforward question, thinking that Ryuko would revert to her nervous state. But to her surprise, Ryuko didn't resemble the stuttering mess back in the kitchen at all. She seemed like a different person now, her expression was relaxed and content, and she could easily gaze back into her eyes with a confident smile.

“I want to go out with you,” she bluntly stated, her smile growing when Satsuki's eyes widened, “and Nonon better not ruin this for me a second time, so I'll ask quickly before she gets the chance -”

Ryuko stopped herself, suspiciously looking behind herself to see if there were any signs of pink hair. When she faced Satsuki again, she wanted to continue but paused at seeing an unusual expression on her face.

“Satsuki?” Ryuko carefully asked, tentatively stretching out a hand and waving it in front of Satsuki's frozen expression. “You alright?”

Satsuki blinked a couple of times, then stared at Ryuko with such a serious and intense look that it made the other girl swallow nervously.

“Well?” Satsuki asked, raising one eyebrow.

“W-well what?”

“Aren't you going to finish that question?”

“I was,” Ryuko slowly replied, then gestured to Satsuki's face, “but I wasn't sure if you were still listening. You were practically a statue just now.”

Satsuki cleared her throat. “I was merely surprised by your sudden confidence because compared to ten minutes earlier, you were unable to form coherent sentences.”

“Oh.”

It was true, something within her had shifted, and she no longer felt nervous at the idea of asking Satsuki out. “Yeah,” she muttered, subconsciously grabbing at the collar of her shirt. “I guess when Nui left, she gave back some of the things she had stolen from me.”

She was talking about her self-confidence and pride.

“Now that I think about it, I could've died because of her, that car was a fucking wreck,” Ryuko paused, almost expecting a chaotic mess of blurry pictures and jarring sounds to suddenly intrude her mind, but she felt nothing. Just a distant awareness of her memories, not a mind-consuming nightmare forcing her to relive those few but horrible seconds. “So what's asking someone out compared to the experience of nearly dying? For all I know, I could be crashed by a truck tomorrow and not have the same luck again. And then what? What have I even lived for up until then?”

Unsure if she was expected to answer or if Ryuko was getting onto another mood-shift train, Satsuki wanted to gently stop her there by reaching out to her with a hand, but Ryuko unexpectedly looked up with a smile.

“So that's why I live for myself,” she answered herself. “I know you think I make crappy decisions all the time, and you're probably right. But that's because I follow my gut and just do whatever I feel like doing in that moment. Sure, it got me into a lot of shitty situations sometimes, but the good things that happened outweigh them all by far. So even if I died tomorrow, I can say I lived for myself and have no regrets about my choices.”

With Ryuko talking about death so lightly, Satsuki didn't quite know how to feel about her words. “Ryuko...”

Ryuko's eyes glimmered with resolve as she steadily held Satsuki's gaze. “I forgot who I was when I was with Nui. I forgot what was important to me and what wasn't. And you know what I realized? It's that I just don't fucking care if I make a fool out of myself, I'm gonna ask you out right here, right now and you either reject me, which is fine even if I'll later on probably cry about it like a loser, or you give me a chance and I'll be the happiest fucker on this stinking planet.”

She took a deep breath. “So, Satsuki, would you go out with me?”

“Ryuko,” Satsuki muttered, her eyelids fluttering.

Nervously clenching her fists, Ryuko thought that this was it. The answer.

“You certainly become quite vulgar once you are in an emotional state.”

“Huh?” Ryuko blinked in confusion once she realized that Satsuki's reply was neither a yes nor a no. She ran a hand through her hair and lightly pulled at it in frustration. “So this vulgar and emotional idiot doesn't have a chance?” Ryuko asked, pointing to herself with a thumb.

“Actually,” Satsuki couldn't suppress a smile, “this vulgar and emotional idiot wouldn't be half as interesting without those traits. They have a certain charm on you.”

“Geez,” Ryuko said with an embarrassed but happy laugh, rubbing her neck, “trying to smooth-talk your way out of a reply now, are we?”

“You are quite mistaken.”

And before Ryuko could even begin to process these words, Satsuki cupped her cheeks with her hands and kissed her, gently pressing her lips against Ryuko's chapped ones.

“Is this answer clear enough?” Satsuki softly said, not completely pulling away as her eyes curiously scanned Ryuko's face because she hadn't had the opportunity to observe her from this close yet, seeing details she hadn't noticed before. With their faces just few centimeters apart, Satsuki became aware of Ryuko's slightly crooked nose, which must have become this way because it had been broken several times before. She traced the bridge of the nose with her thumb. 

“Hm,” Ryuko hummed, warmth spreading throughout her body like a wildfire as she instinctively closed her eyes and leaned into Satsuki's touch. “Not quite. I think I need some convincing.”

“How stubborn, Matoi,” Satsuki muttered with small smile, and she leaned in for another, longer kiss.

The gentleness and unhurried pace of their lips moving against each other almost felt too good to be true for Ryuko. She had gotten used to Nui's rough and bruising kisses, gotten used to how emotionless she felt at glossy pink lips sliding against hers. Kissing her had felt like an unnecessary step prior to sex because she had never gotten aroused from just kissing her, it were always her thoughts of what they were about to do that got her in the mood.

But now Ryuko could barely control her breathing, she was amazed at how her heartbeat had sped up from just kissing Satsuki. It blew her mind to feel so much despite doing so little.

Slightly out of breath, Satsuki pulled away first, but Ryuko closed the distance again by capturing her bottom lip between her teeth and teasingly licking it. “Need more convincing,” she breathed against her lips, smirking when she heard Satsuki gasp.

A muffled squeak was what broke them apart in the end, making Ryuko jump two steps back while Satsuki went rigid. They both turned to the source of the interruption with a stiff expression.

Nonon sheepishly lowered her hand that had failed to cover her cry of surprise. “Yeah, yeah, I know, I ruined it, sorry about that. But I got worried when Satsuki didn't come back, thought that Harime pulled something crazy again. How should I've known that you two were just busy sucking each others' faces off?”

Many vulgar responses lied on the tip of her tongue, but Ryuko didn't feel like uttering any of them. She released a long breath and shrugged. “I'm in a good mood, so I'm gonna let that one go.”

“Thanks,” Nonon sarcastically said, “wouldn't know what to do if I pissed you off.” She stared between Satsuki and Ryuko. “So it's official?”

“I don't know, she keeps kissing me instead of saying yes,” Ryuko jokingly replied, and Satsuki snorted in amusement. They shared a happy smile like it was all the confirmation they needed.

“Gross,” Nonon muttered, but then smiled anyway, genuinely relieved and happy for them that they had finally worked it out. “You two better behave when I'm around, I don't want to see any naked body parts I'm not ready for, especially not yours, Matoi.”

“So mean,” Ryuko dramatically gasped, placing a hand on her chest. “All this work-out to look good naked and you tell me you don't want to see it? Then I'm gonna need Satsuki to appreciate it all the more.”

And when she hopefully grinned at Satsuki, the other girl chuckled in amusement, deciding to play along. “That can be arranged.”

“Wow,” Nonon dryly said, “just when I thought it couldn't get more gross.”

She turned around to walk back into the villa, muttering to herself all the way until she was inside.

“I believe this is her way of giving us her blessing,” Satsuki said once Nonon disappeared inside the villa.

“I believe this is her way of being a little shit.”

When Satsuki gave Ryuko a stern look, she relented and said with a smile, “Yeah, I know. She means well. But she could really work on expressing that.”

Satsuki just wordlessly raised an eyebrow at Ryuko.

“Okay, fine,” Ryuko sighed. “I need some work on that too. Also, I'll stop provoking her. Happy now?”

Her expression relaxing into a soft smile, Satsuki took Ryuko's hand and intertwined their fingers.

“Incredibly so.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone's interested, there are two scenes that I've cut out and published on Tumblr. I initially tried writing some sort of epilogue but somehow that would have started another story arc I wasn't ready for. I'm putting it out there because it shows a bit of Ryuko's character development which I didn't want to go to waste hiding away in my folders - if anyone cares to read : http://jstonedd.tumblr.com/post/101443252404/see-if-i-care-outtakes


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